How many things have been done to become smart, beautiful, self-confident! And the work is good, and the spouse and children. However, the thought of each new project, of reaching out to people, posting a new photo on Instagram or a video on YouTube - is still terrifying. And if you ask a question, did self-esteem really increase after many actions to improve oneself, the answer will be negative.
Is there really no way to cope with this excitement, with fears, is there really no way to stop being shy and, at heart, consider yourself unworthy?
Of course it does. There is always a solution. And this is not a decision to become even more beautiful, smarter, kinder and further down the list.
An attempt to create a successful part within oneself, which allows one not to look at the inner vision of one’s failure, ugliness, stupidity, or maliciousness, is a way to overstrain, and nothing more.
To look at the part that is unsuccessful is the way out. To know the image from which you are fleeing will be healing.
Recently, we were faced with the fact that a successful woman cannot fully believe that everything will be fine, that the world loves her, that she is accepted. At the thought that you need to make a new presentation and make a speech, it was covered with a very unpleasant sensation (the word "unpleasant", by the way, can already characterize the image that will arise in the future).
It was interesting that we had already worked with performances, and there were already visualizations of the shame she was experiencing. And it got better. However, this was not enough.
In beauty, we see flaws, as if true beauty is mixed with our negative images of ourselves.
For better or worse, the fact remains. We learn our inner world gradually. Its depth does not unfold before us right away. For a while we go shallow into our images. Partly because we are accustomed to the strategy of running away from pain, rather than going into it. Partly because we do not have the habit and practice of knowing images in the smallest details, and it is precisely a detailed deep image that is needed if the transformation is significant.
With long-term work for many months (albeit with infrequent meetings), one can see how a person learns himself deeper and better, and the work becomes deeply transformative.
This time we went deep. There was no longer the former image of a girl who blushes in front of an audience who breathes deeply, accepts her shame and comes to herself.
There was a different image. First, the image of Quasimodo suddenly came. He, as it were, was a harbinger. Then she appeared - the one from the thought of which our wonderful heroine burst into tears. It was a girl of about seven. She watched the other children play, but could not come. Part of her body was covered with ulcers. She just stood and looked at the game, and knew that she could never be with these children because of these ulcers. Vulnerability, pain, sadness, eternal suffering - all this was in the eyes of the girl.
Our heroine did not have ulcers in her childhood, but perhaps she was not once taken into the game, or she watched the children play, but could not enter their circle (she often moved, and was new all the time). And this image was impressed, like the suffering that could go away when they looked at him from the side.
And this was not only the starting point of healing for a woman. It is very important that she understood how to work with images. Do not be afraid of them, but look for the very, very pain.
That is the conclusion? To cope with low self-esteem, we do not create new successful images, we look at what prevents us from truly manifesting ourselves, what fear, what pain. After their completion, energy, joy and self-love, which was, so to speak, blocked, manifests itself and flows as it should.
This kind of therapeutic work is needed to increase self-esteem.