I would never have thought that I, who had grown up in the library, would write such lines. But, from the point of view of psychology, the manic love of reading is not at all as positive as it seemed to me.
If your child doesn’t read books at all, it might be for the best. Adults often think that quiet children reading books are good. But it is not so. The erudition and empathy that reading gives is wonderful. But beyond that, books have serious side effects. Much more serious than computer addiction.
And that's why:
1. Avoiding reality
Children heading to books are children experiencing stress. This is the same virtual reality, only in fantasies, and therefore it is stronger than computer addiction. You can create your own worlds and live in them without touching the real world. You can do actions on the machine and be inside the book, inside the fantasy world, live the life of non-existent heroes. Many children, growing up, are looking for more comfortable worlds. Hence, loneliness, neurosis and all kinds of addiction. In reality, everything is not so bright, not so beautiful, not so perfect. People need a different world, a different relationship, as in a book. As adults, they come up with their own ideas, idealizing others or plotting stories. But everything is not going according to the script. From this - pain and frustration.
The cure for this is to go outside, make friends with real people, communicate. Engage in joint games and projects. Break your knees and get abrasions. One real friend is worth a thousand books read. One real project and a real victory is a million times larger than a book and a fictional one.
2. False installations
Books, alas, give a false understanding of what you all know about relationships between people. And in most cases, someone should suffer in these relationships. This is understandable, the basic law of drama: while the hero is fighting, we are ready to follow his ascent. And remember at least one happy woman in Russian works? All of them somehow very perversely understand love and relationships - these are either excessive passions or sacrifices. And men are completely fools, scoundrels, corruptors or repentant sinners. Victims in literature are idealized, and scoundrels are condemned. But it’s not described anywhere that these scenarios are not mandatory and you don’t need to accept this as a model of behavior! The children's psyche does not know about this and cannot critically perceive those images that carry fascinating books. And teachers cement these patterns with their behavior. Tatyana’s letter, the ardor of Anna Karenina, the stupidity of Catherine and Elizabeth, the suffering of Bolkonsky, Raskolnikov and others. Children understand this literally: since society accepts such literature, it means that such behavior is accepted. And they begin to copy their favorite characters, associating themselves with them, choosing a model of behavior that is approved by society.
But in life, everything can be much more beautiful and harmonious. Suffering is not a prerequisite for relations with the world! But there are so few books about it!
And even fairy tales, alas, are not as harmless as they seem at first glance. About this in more detail - Eric Byrne and "Games that people play."
3. A one-sided view of the world
The book is a projection and product of one person, not always healthy. I do not want to say that all authors are sick, but most through creativity express their excessive pain and vulnerability and infect others with it. Once we organized a marathon # participation. It took 21 days to learn one poem. How many life-affirming lines did you find? And how many depressive, suicidal thoughts? I, an adult, had goosebumps and spoiled my mood. Not for nothing that poem sites publish ads for sedatives and helplines. Do you really want all the pain of neurotics, alcoholics and drug addicts of all times to fall upon the immature child psyche? No matter how beautiful the syllable, no matter how delightful the plots are, the children live this pain together with the heroes. However, they consider such behavior and thoughts to be the norm! And his state of harmony and calm is something strange. “Everything is somehow too smooth, but where is the suffering that decorates a person like that?” The grown children ask and begin to create problems for themselves. Although often there are no prerequisites for this.
Therefore, dear parents, maybe you should not despair and make children read. Is that an encyclopedia. Of course, non-fiction and non-fiction literature are devoid of the above properties, in addition to the one-sided point of view.
But if you read it, then be sure to discuss, evaluate the heroes and draw analogies with real life. Who behaves the same? Why? Is this behavior necessary? Why does society approve or condemn such behavior? What was the hero’s mistake? To help children realize that the behavior of the characters is far from the standard. That you don’t need to behave like that anyway. To disassemble not in school "what the author wanted to say," but in the framework of a healthy relationship.
It is also necessary to take the child out of dreams: if you see that a child spends every free second with a book, ignores children's society in order to read longer, alas, this is an alarming sign. Although most parents and teachers will exclaim differently. In this case, noisy games, walks, street activity are needed.
My colleagues and I tried to find fiction books about healthy relationships. It was not easy. I got a list of only three books, and not because a little has been read. Rather, the opposite. I would be grateful if you could supplement this list with something else:
- Victor Dragunsky, “Deniskins Tales” - a boy from a good healthy family explores the world.
- Nikolai Nosov - his cycle of stories about the independent experiences of children is very funny, and happens away from adults.
- Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine - Children and their family appreciate the wonderful moments of life. The smell of cut grass, the color and taste of golden wine, sunlit meadows. They make discoveries that they are alive, that friends have green eyes and that even tennis shoes can help run, that when you want something, the whole world helps you in your aspirations. And only a few short stories there about the cruelty of the world of some people.
Do not throw tomatoes at me - they say that modern children do not read it anyway. In some ways, they are significantly healthier than those who read us. And on the vocabulary, as I managed to notice, working with unreadable teenagers, this does not affect at all.
And remember: every book you read irreversibly changes your mind.