Probably, many parents are familiar with the situation when their child suddenly begins to "freak out": loudly shouting, running and jumping, throwing toys. At the same time, he can "get" some ridiculous requests, hurt the younger ones or bother pets.
CHEERFUL HYSTERIA
In response to any comments, the child begins to demonstrate even more actively what he or she has been prohibited from doing. At first, all this activity is connected with positive emotions. It may seem to an outside observer that the child simply "played too much", that it is a natural fun. But parents know very well that such fun will quickly grow into hysteria and end in tears. The child is overexcited and as if stuck in the emotions of high intensity.
What is interesting, the behavior of parents here depends little: they can be "positive" and play along with the child in his fun, or they can behave harshly, trying to stop the "belligerent", but the result (later or earlier) will be the same - hysteria and tears. It seems that the child is "winding up" himself by launching an emotional self-immulation program, and until this program works to the end (joyful excitement - hysteria and tears - exhaustion and relaxation), it is almost impossible to do anything.
ORGASM SCANDAL
If you think that such emotional self-activation is only characteristic of children, you are mistaken. Quite often young couples with a very recognizable problem come to the family psychologist's office - they fight "on a level playing field". Subsequently, they realize that the reasons for the scandal were completely stupid and insignificant and that their behavior was completely irrational. Someone said something wrong, the partner picked on the word, and it came to pass... It comes to shouting, mutual insults, sometimes even to hand-application - the passions are so boiling!
But what happens next? Sometimes after such a conflict, there is reconciliation in bed. Moreover, some couples believe that such quarrels seem to refresh their sexual relations; "forgive" each other in bed seems especially spicy to them. In other cases, after such a conflict, a multi-day game begins, where one partner is "offended" and the other is "guilty". "Guilty (guilty)" begins to "atone for guilt" and "offended (offended)" rejects or accepts these efforts. As long as this game lasts, the partners are keen. The game gives them the opportunity to experience a variety of emotions.
It is not by chance that such quarrels are "in the right place" (and their subsequent resolution through sex or games) is characteristic of young couples. The fact is that this way of shaking things up is dangerous - in the long run, it destroys relationships. In a "trifling" quarrel with a loved one, we (intentionally or unintentionally) strike at her/his self-respect and discredit our own "light image" in the eyes of others.
Even if the game of "resentment and guilt" is perceived as something frivolous at first, then over time there comes a genuine disappointment. Love dies, and the habit stays in a quarrel. And married couples with experience are already able to bring under any quarrel a serious reason: why it is not a bullshit reason, but a matter of principle and who (violating these principles) has ruined life.
CHEF ON ENTERPRISE
Irrational emotional explosions can also occur in working relationships. It is especially dangerous if uncontrollable emotions occur in a manager. When anyone can get caught in the heat of the moment, relations in the team are toxic: motivation is based on fear. Subordinates try to avoid communicating with the supervisor; some copy the supervisor's model of behavior.
The situation in such a team is unpleasant: "clarification of relations" flashes because of any nonsense; mutual respect and mutual assistance in deficit; in the informal hierarchy of leaders are those who can emotionally suppress colleagues; in the team are necessarily present "scapegoats" (the most bullying-prone employees). To be continued in the next part https://zen.yandex.ru/media/id/5d8dfb2dc49f2900b12d4733/emotional-explosions-understand-and-defuse--part-2-5d8fbf2a028d6800aece2a5e