ON A POWDER KEG
Why do people need such strong emotional self-activation/self-stimulation? Is there any sense in these "storms in a glass of water", or is it just harming them (in the form of spoiled moods, feelings of shame/guilt, ruined relationships and bad reputation)?
One of the key causes of emotional outbursts is emotional hunger, lack of bright and strong emotional experiences. More precisely, it is not the emotional hunger itself, but how ineffectively people try to get rid of it.
In psychology, there is a so-called "activation theory of emotions". The experience of any emotion is closely connected with the increased activity of certain brain areas, mainly the limbic system (it is there that emotions are "born" as a neurophysiological process). But the limbic system is quite an ancient part of our brain, responsible for many other functions: memorization and learning; approximate activity (attention); normal sleep; constancy (homeostasis) of the internal environment of the body; basic instinctive forms of behavior (aggressive-defensive, sexual, food, etc.).
THREE ASPECTS OF LIMBIC SYSTEM FUNCTIONING:
- Responsible for the general activity of the person (if not activated enough, we fall asleep).
- It is inertial, i.e. the level of activation increases slowly and also declines slowly.
- The connection between emotions and the limbic system is two-way. This means that we perceive a certain level of limbic system acts as an emotion; but on the other hand, the external events that cause us an emotional reaction can change the energy tone of the limbic system. And I almost forgot! The limbic system does not care what emotions - positive or negative - will activate it.
Emotional explosions (when a person "turns himself on" and then loses control over strong feelings) appear as an attempt to "turn on" again, to activate the limbic system, the activity of which for some reason is reduced. For example, the success of a young child's development and education depends largely on how well the limbic system will supply energy. But the learning (in the broad sense of the word) load may be too high, the energy may be insufficient! So the child starts to "freak out"...
Parents and teachers should not suppress this activity (it is better to direct it in a constructive direction), and it is necessary to accept that the way out of this state will take some time (inertia of limbic system) and that the discharge in the form of tears is also a way of activation.
How can we explain the quarrels "in the right place" in the young couple? As long as the relationship (including intimate ones) is actively developing, the limbic system is quite sufficiently active. But as soon as the relationship is formed, it has become commonplace, activation begins to decline. And attempts to overwhelm it with big and small scandals begin.
COMPETENT RECHARGING
But it's important to remember that:
the limbic system is activated by any emotion, better positive than negative;
How to deal with an "explosive" manager? Alas, it is better for employees in such an organization to stay away from such a boss (or even better to change the organization). If a manager knows this feature for himself, assesses it as negative and wants to get rid of it, he should first confess honestly to himself, in which situations he feels helpless. Yes, you have not misheard: emotional explosions come from weakness! Loss of interest/motivation to work; lack of positive emotions; possible chronic dissatisfaction with basic needs (sleep, rest, etc.); prevalence of boring routine tasks... Emotional hunger is a consequence of reduced activation of the limbic system. Emotional explosions (which we provoke and "twist" ourselves) are a non-constructive way to "recharge" our limbic system. But there are also more constructive ways:
- Normalize your sleep and wakefulness, get some sleep;
- Do what you are interested in (causes and holds involuntary attention);
- Do what motivates you (when the process itself is more enjoyable than the result);
- Learn and remember something new;
- Increase the variety of positive emotions in your life and in your relationships with loved ones;
- Meet basic needs in a timely manner, do not accumulate frustrat