This problem is known to most parents. It is often not easy to understand why a child is beating, and even more so to respond properly to a particular situation to eradicate such an unpleasant habit from their child's life. But keep in mind that being a baby is a normal thing, the only question is what kind of regularity, whom and for what beats. If the child is using his fists to protect his dignity, property, little brother or stranger - this is perfectly acceptable. Of course, parents should not be encouraged to fight, you need to teach your child to use force only after the "peace stock" of words and patience is exhausted. But to grow a potential weakling, in every way forbidding the child to show their strength and character, is also not worth it. Consider specific situations.
1. Beats with peers in kindergarten, school, playground
Parents, children, teachers, and educators complain. If all this "clutter" is out of sight, you need to understand the reasons for this behavior. Talk to a teacher or tutor who was present during the fight. Do this without a child so that he can then tell you his version of what happened because often the child is different from the adult version.
There are two reasons for aggression - the desire to show your strength or to provoke the necessary reaction. If the child clearly spells out the cause of the fight, they are most likely right. If he tries to get away from the conversation, he mumbles and invents on the move - he feels wrong or does not attach importance to this situation. It is not necessary to worry if the baby is not beating often. If this becomes a habit, it is worth considering.
Together with your child, try to find the positive qualities of "irreconcilable" enemies - this will help to look at the surrounding children in a new way. Enroll your child in a sports section where you can prove your strength on a punching bag and not on peers. If there is a fight in your eyes, try not to interfere with the situation until it poses a serious risk to the health of the children. If stones and sticks are in the running, come up and silently pick out the dangerous items.
In the moment of a fight, appealing to the conscience of children is as futile as persuading the bull in the bullfight to stand still and apologize.
Put all the talk aside for later. Even if you clearly see that your child is right, there is no need to run headlong to defend - he will do it without you because, at the time of being a mom, all children become smaller and weaker at once. If the child is not mistaken, and you begin to explain it hotly to him, you run the risk of becoming another enemy, so that besides the malice on the part of the child, you will not get anything by your intervention.
2. He fights with his brother or sister
The most tragic picture for loving parents. If an older child is desperate for a tot, it is pure jealousy. "They love this little toddler even more than I do, and he bites my pencils too!" And then you also run-up, kiss the tots, and the eldest pile on your entire arsenal of reproaches and accusations, thereby reinforcing his opinion that he is not loved at all. This way, you do not stop but aggravate the situation.
You should pay more attention to your older child to make them feel loved and needed. All children, both large and small, need maternal caress, hugs, and kisses. If your senior breaks out and escapes in response to your active tenderness, it is another sign of his confidence that he is not loved and in the first conflict, the situation will stand on the sidelines. In such a situation, it is necessary to pick up the baby gradually - praise him, ask him to do something for you, bring him a pie from work, showing in the same way that you think about him at work.
And do not forget that your every phrase about love should sound like this: "I love you very much, most of all in the world, and your brother, too, love more than everyone in the world - you are my favorite children and I love you equally much."
This is a magic phrase that, with daily repetition, will be firmly entrenched in the minds of children.
If there are kids in your family who are already capable of fist-fisting, it's about childhood wars, and the best way to end a war is to turn enemies into allies. Never compare children, do not shame one another, do not judge - who is right and who is to blame, the children know themselves, do not ask the elder to yield to the younger, do not stand on the side of one of the children, do not shout, trying to stop the fight. What to do then? The best thing is to try to reassure children by switching their attention to something else - pretend you have fallen and hit, turn on loud music, or even neglect - all non-standard will distract children from the fight. If that doesn't help, keep the kids quiet in different rooms. And for prevention, practice joint games (except competitions), making different products and drawing general pictures. Always emphasize your equal treatment of children.
3. The child beats his parents or grandparents
It's quite simple here - see how you respond to his blow. Most often the same - they were offended, wept, reconciled, kissed. This is exactly what the baby is trying to achieve, for him it is a game to start which one must hit his beloved grandmother. Similarly, children can fight if adults try roughly, without his wishes, to force him to do something - eat cereal, put on socks or clean in the room. In this case, it is necessary to completely change the model of communication with the child - think about whether you are too aggressive towards him.
Remember that your aggression, demonstrated by words, shouts, punishments, and excessive control, will also cause aggression, the fist of which is the simplest manifestation.