Stop pushing on the kids!
We live in a highly competitive society where everything seems to be lacking, and we get the impression that if we do not meet the requirements, we will be thrown to the sidelines of life.
It is not surprising, therefore, that in recent decades many parents have adopted a model of education that is appropriate for the consumption of society.
They want their children to be ready for life, but not in the broadest sense, but in the most limited sense: they want their children to have the knowledge and skills needed to get a good job, a good job and a great salary.
These parents have set a goal: they want their children to be the best. To achieve this, they, without hesitation, enroll children in all kinds of extra classes, and, of course, push them to succeed at any cost. And the worst part is that they believe they are doing it "for their own good."
The biggest problem with this educational model is that it puts unnecessary pressure on children - a pressure that ultimately takes away their childhood and forms emotionally broken adults.
The dangers of pushing children to success
Under pressure from relatives, most children become obedient and can achieve the results their parents ask for, but in the long run, this limits their autonomous thinking and skills, which can lead to real success.
If we do not give the child the opportunity and freedom to find his way because we are filling him with his expectations, the child will not be able to make his own decisions, to feel and to develop his personality.
Therefore, the assumption that children are the best has serious dangers:
- 1. It creates unnecessary pressure that fills their childhood. Childhood is a period of learning, as well as joy and emptiness. Children should learn in an interesting way of playing, they should make mistakes, spend time, give their imagination free time and spend time with other children.
The expectation that children will be "the best" in this field, placing too high hopes on them, will only make their fragile knees bend under the weight of pressure they do not need. As a result, this way of learning takes away their childhood.
- It causes a loss of intrinsic motivation and satisfaction. When parents focus more on results than on effort, the child loses his / her intrinsic motivation because he/she will understand that the result is more important than his/her efforts. Likewise, by focusing on the results, you lose interest in the path and stop enjoying it.
- It gives rise to a fear of failure. Fear of failure is one of the most limiting feelings we can experience. And this feeling is closely related to our idea of success. Therefore, encouraging children to succeed in the early stages often only instills in them the seeds of fear of failure.
In conclusion, it is likely that these babies will not become as independent and practical adults as their parents won't, but will become people who bet on insurance and accept mediocrity only because they are afraid of failing.
- It leads to a loss of self-esteem. Many of the most successful people, professionally speaking, are unsure of themselves. For example, many supermodels, for example, have admitted that they consider themselves ugly or fat, though, in reality, they are beauty icons.
This is because the level of perfectionism they have always undergone makes them believe that this will never be enough and that the slightest mistake is enough to be disparaged by others. Children who grow up with this conviction become dangerous adults with low self-esteem who believe they are not good enough to be loved. As a result, they live in anticipation of the opinions of others.
What does a baby really need to know?
Kids don't have to be the best, they just have to be happy. So all you have to do is make sure your child knows:
- what she loves is definitely and always, regardless of the mistakes she makes.
- that she is safe, that you will protect and support her when you can.
- that she can waste, spend time fantasizing and playing with her friends.
- that she can choose what she likes best and devote herself to it, no matter what it is.
- that she is a special and wonderful person, like many other people in the world.
- that she deserves respect and should respect others.
- It is also important for parents to know:
- that each child learns at his or her own pace, and that there is no need to confuse stimulation of development with pressure.
The factor that most influences children's performance is that parents read to their children that they devote some time each night to fostering a passion for reading, rather than expensive schools or hard toys.
- that a child who receives the best grades is almost never the happiest little boy because happiness is not measured by these terms.
- that children do not need more toys but need a simpler and more carefree life, as well as more time with their parents.
- that children deserve the freedom to explore everything and decide for themselves what they like and make them happy.
Give your children the right to be a child!