Neighbourhood Walks", Issue 25, 2018
Глава 5 сказки для изучающих английский о Янтарных Совах (Amberly Owls). В пятой главе Фими объясняет, как по её цвету можно определить, какую эмоцию у неё вызывает тема каждого из разделов, которые ей предлагается вести на дзен-канале EnglishLab.Net. В тексте используются colour idioms, обозначающие в большинстве своём эмоции.
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Увидев Фими в новом обличье, мне в голову не пришло ничего другого, как пригласить её посидеть со мной в кафе. Совершенно предсказуемо Фими согласилась, и мы направились прямиком туда, где можно съесть самое вкусное пирожное pavlova в городе, вот такое:
В кафе, к сожалению, было довольно людно, поэтому мы с Фими о серьёзных вещах говорить не стали - как-то не с руки было проводить собеседование именно там, и я пригласила её к себе домой:
(me) - Phemie, why don't we go to my place? You could comfortably perch on my desk lamp there, and we'll be able to proceed with your interview.
Фими согласилась )
Долго ли, коротко ли, мы добрались наконец до моего кабинета, Фими удобно устроилась на моей лампе,
... и мы перешли ко второй части собеседования.
(me) - Your CV (or shall I say résumé?) says that you have a degree in Alien Communication Systems Analysis and Emotionally Intelligent Body Colour Changing. I think I can understand what the former specialism is all about, but I'm at my wits end as to what the latter one implies. Could you elaborate on what it is all about, please?
(Phemie) - Sure! You see, everything's amber-coloured in the Amberly Owl Universe, so it can be difficult for us, owls, to understand each other's emotions. For this reason, those of us who are genetically predisposed are advised to learn the skill of body colour changing, which requires doing a course in Emotional Intelligence. We have to learn what exactly causes each emotion and how to show each of them appropriately so that no one gets hurt. It is very unusual for an Amberly Owl to master more than ten colours, but those of my peers who can change their body colour land the best-paid and the most emotionally satisfying intergalactic jobs.
(me) - Sounds interesting. The way I see it, you must be well educated as per your universe standards. So what colour can you become at will, and what emotion is each colour supposed to evoke in either you or those who look at you?
(Phemie) - Well, I've mastered a dozen different colours that can engender a wide range of emotional responses in both Amberly Owls and alien species, yours included. Which colours and emotions are you interested in?
(me) - Erm. Right ...Let me think. What emotion would you feel, and what colour would you turn if I asked you to manage the Pronunciation series?
(Phemie) - Well, I'd definitely be scared stiff and would turn as white as a sheet, for that's a hell of a lot of responsibility. Yet, I wouldn't refuse. I like challenges!
(me) - I see :) And how about Punctuation?
(Phemie) - Erm ... I'd get thoroughly browned off, I imagine. I find it annoying that there are so few hard and fast punctuation rules. On second thought, it'd be fun to get to know the ropes.
(me) - Right, so you'd be brownie brown then. That could make the topic seem a bit more fun than it really is ) ... And now onto the next point ... It looks like we also need someone to manage our Weekly Wordlists. Do you think you could take over them, too?
(Phemie) - Yes, I think I could. I'd feel blue, though. When it comes to acquiring vocabulary, the sky is the limit. There is always "some more" to learn no matter how hard you try. Do you agree?
(Having heard a tinge of sadness in Phemie's voice, I decided it was high time we talked about something more exciting)
(me) - Well, erm, yes, I do, but to some extent only. Vocabulary is just a means to an end. What I'm trying to say is that you're not supposed to love or hate it. It is just there as a knife or a fork is beside your dinner plate. It's a tool that helps you achieve other, more serious purposes, so you don't always need to go for the fanciest options. ... But enough about vocabulary ... How would you feel if I put you in charge of food- and fitness-related topics?
(Phemie) - FOOD! And FITNESS! I'd be tickled PINK! These topics are my absolute favourites! I'd turn bubblegum pink if I were put in charge of FOOD as it'd make me feel happy, and darker, purplish pink if I were made responsible for the FITNESS section. I think it is of paramount importance for everyone to be in the pink no matter how stressful life gets.
... Phemie's sudden enthusiasm astounded me. I could feel it bubbling up inside her. For a moment I even thought she'd break into the Bhangra dance ... but she didn't. She managed to contain her emotions in a matter of seconds. As she drew a serious face, she asked matter-of-factly:
(Phemie) - Can I start next Monday?
Как вы понимаете, отказать Фими я не смогла. Однако время было позднее, у меня были другие дела, а Фими нужно было успеть телепортироваться домой - путь до ближайшей wormhole был неблизкий. Поэтому мы договорились, что встретимся ещё разок на ближайшей неделе, чтобы обсудить ещё несколько рубрик на нашем канале, а также уточнить working conditions.
PS Если нужно записать аудио моих вопросов и ответов Фими в скрипте выше - ставьте "лайк" и слова "буду рад(а) послушать аудио главы" в комментарии )
SPOILER В следующей главе вас ждёт ещё несколько интересных идиом. Stay tuned )
Предыдущие главы: 4-ая (3-я, а в ней ссылки на 1 и 2)
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