The Field Guide to the North American Teenager — by Ben Philippe Chapter 13 - 16
DEFINITION: The act of another person trying to help improve your sorry, sorry excuse for game. COROLLARY EMOTIONS: Pity, shame, total abject despair. “It’s a mask,” Maddie said dismissively, elbowing Norris’s phone out of her way. “Move, Canada.” “I know it’s a mask—I’m asking what you think the mask represents,” Norris grumbled. Over the past few days, Norris and Aarti had entered into a loose texting exchange leading up to their date, which happened to be tonight. It was a neutral platform that let Norris into a whole new side of her...
The Field Guide to the North American Teenager — by Ben Philippe Chapter 25 - 28
POTENTIAL SCENARIOS WHEN MEETING YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND’S PARENTS: “We heard you kissed our daughter in a public school pool; prepare to die.” “We heard you kissed our daughter in a public school pool; we just wanted to take your measurements for the wedding attire.” “Who are you and what are you doing in our house?” When Norris had finally capitulated and asked Aarti for a translation of the mysterious emoji that she’d sent him at the McElwees wedding, her answer, while straightforward enough, had opened a whole new slew of questions for Norris...