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The Coughin’ Wardrobe
"наш шкаф похоже заразился
чихнул под вечер пару раз"
Bazzlan
Шкафы, то-же иногда болеют...
[Verse 1]
A came hame early frae Dundee town,
Wi’ flowers an’ a goofy frown,
The door was locked, the light was dim,
A heard some rustlin’, that wasnae him!
Then somethin’ sneezed behind the coats,
I near dropped ma bag o’ oats!
“By Saint Andrew, what the hell?”
The wardrobe coughed like it was unwell!
[Chorus]
Och aye, the coughin’ wardrobe’s burstin’ mad,
Wi’ secrets hid an’ breathin’ bad!
It’s wheezin’, sneezin’, gaspin’ sore,
Guess love’s disease lives oot that door!
Oh, the coughin’ wardrobe’s gone insane,
It’s full o’ guilt an’ cheap champagne!
I shouldnae laugh, but I can’t stop —
That wardrobe needs a doctor’s drop!
[Verse 2]
She said, “It’s jist the winter flu,
The wardrobe’s catchin’ cold, ye fool!”
I said, “Aye sure, it’s coughin’ weird,
It’s even got a five o’clock beard!”
Then out it popped wi’ shirt half-torn,
A lad that looked completely worn!
He said, “I swear I’m here tae fix the lock,”
But his pants were halfway doon the block!
[Chorus]
Och aye, the coughin’ wardrobe’s burstin’ mad,
Wi’ secrets hid an’ breathin’ bad!
It’s wheezin’, sneezin’, gaspin’ sore,
Guess love’s disease lives oot that door!
Oh, the coughin’ wardrobe’s lost its calm,
It’s shakin’ worse than Uncle Tam!
Next time I leave for work at dawn,
I’ll take that wardrobe oot the lawn!
Bridge
“Aye, if ye’re fixin’ locks, laddie,
Why ye hidin’ in ma wife’s wardrobe
Wi’ yer shirt inside oot an’ yer shoelace missin’?”
(crowd chant) — “Busted! Busted!”
[Final Chorus]
Och aye, the coughin’ wardrobe’s tellin’ tales,
O’ sneaky nights an’ secret ales!
It sneezed again, then gave a groan —
Now it sleeps oot on its own!
Oh, the coughin’ wardrobe’s had its day,
We burned it doon tae keep midges away!
No more coughs, no more lies,
Just punkin’ polka lullabies!
Анатолий Дидык
1 минута
24 апреля