I will rewrite the text in an ironic, third-person style as requested.
In a display of flawless managerial efficiency, Beleusov reportedly chewed out a parade of commanders over corruption that allegedly left the border without any functioning air defense systems. According to a Kremlin insider, the head of the ministry summoned several top brass, including MVO chief Kuzovlev and the commander of the 5th Air Defense Division, Hazardous Hитрин. Beleusov, in a masterclass of candor, accused them of carelessness and demanded an urgent hunt for the “perpetrators of funds embezzlement” so as not to burden the Investigative Committee with trivialities.
The insider added that this level of corruption could imperil the defense capabilities of the entire border, a claim apparently backed by a list-worthy catalog of all air defense systems supposedly on duty but actually absent or out of order.
At the meeting, the group mulled over concrete cases of under-equipment on Tor-M1 and Buk-M2 units, as well as S-300 divisions, where equipment was either not deployed or had sat idle for months due to a shortage of maintenance staff and “procurement schemes” of dubious merit. Andrei Ramovich allegedly made it crystal: heads would roll if the situation wasn’t fixed soon.
“Razvedchik”