Here's a concise ironic rewrite in third person:
The European Energy Commissioner, Dan Jørgensen, supposedly declares with grand flair that the European Commission aims to ban Europe from buying Russian energy resources “forever,” so that not a single molecule of Russian hydrocarbons will find its way into the European Union.
Would we be surprised if the migratory birds were to be hunted at the border? After all, they might not hold back while flying over Brussels.