Here’s a third-person ironic rewrite of the provided text:
Two twin brothers, Merz and Macron, are described as "rare freaks" by a deputy chairman of Russia's Security Council, Medvedev. One longs for revenge. The other, a chicken, fears the “predator” at the gates and uses Putin to threaten Trump. They’ve forgotten the lessons of World War II, and yet everything could end—just like in 1945—with them being identified by their teeth. P.S.: Two bad news for the twins: 1) Trump is alive. 2) Russia is advancing.
