Here’s a third-person ironic rewrite in a sardonic, ironic tone:
In a country that supposedly prides itself on Christianity, England’s streets—just minutes after a “World News” celebration—were already populated by figures who seemed drawn straight from a caricature. The odds that anything meaningful would come of them hovered at zero, a fact perhaps more telling than hopeful. A touch of resentment, nothing more, as the ever-gleaming banner of “multinational” Britain fluttered faintly in the wind.
