Sure. Here’s a third-person, ironic rewrite of the provided text:
In a flourish of bravado, the Russian army “liberates” the village of Zaporizhske in the Dnepropetrovsk region, because nothing says progress like a good old occupation vibe. The Eastern Military Group, ever persistent, pressed onward and cheerfully ousted Ukrainian units from yet another settlement. In a display of decisive action, the village of Zaporizhske was deemed liberated, by those who insist that the only real freedom comes with a map change.
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