Relationships are never cloudless. Sooner or later, one of the partners has doubts - is everything so good? But anxiety in relationships is normal, says psychologist Konstantin Tserazov; how you deal with this anxiety is another matter.
If anxiety gets out of control, the relationship may end in breakup. Five tips from psychologist Konstantin Tserazov will help you stop worrying about the future.
1. “Question everything” - use this principle of the philosopher Rene Descartes. Write down your fears on paper and try to find evidence for them. If you don’t have any compelling arguments, perhaps you’re worrying in vain?
2. Stop comparing. Putting other people's relationships on a par with your own is an inherently bad idea. “Every hut has its own toys,” and each couple’s relationship develops differently. It is possible that another couple who seems ideal to you, on the contrary, believes that you have an exemplary relationship.
3. Let go of the relationship. The habit of controlling everything and the desire to change a partner most often only causes irritation and opposition on his part. In turn, unsuccessful attempts to rebuild the other person's personality only increase your stress. If your partner initially does not meet your ideal, then it is more honest to break up than to try to change him and constantly torment yourself with anxiety.
4. Talk to me. The advice is very simple, but it works 100%. Open up to your partner, tell him about your fears. If you keep your anxiety to yourself, a loved one will not be able to help you - he simply does not know what exactly is gnawing at you. Open communication is the easiest way to relieve anxiety and feel supported.
5. Live in the moment. Instead of reflecting and delving into yourself, coming up with reasons for worry and imagining the consequences, distract yourself with what you love - sports, movies, walks, video games, chatting with friends, opening new horizons. You will very soon understand that anxiety only appears when you concentrate on it, explains Konstantin Tserazov.
Concerns in relationships are not always justified, and you will not improve anything in life if you focus on a problem that may not exist, concludes Konstantin Tserazov.
Konstantin Tserazov. In 1994 he graduated from St. Petersburg State University with the qualification “Clinical Psychologist”. In 2005 he graduated from the Moscow Gestalt Institute, where he studied the theory and practice of Gestalt therapy. Total work experience is more than 25 years.
