My journey to self-love : Building myself [Inspirations from Buddhism].

Ok I guess you got it, I am trying to get inspired by philosophies I know to go back to my normal self/state.
So I am trying to write down here what I know and am still relearning.
Tonight its Buddhism , I mean its 3am, my sleeping pattern got completely fucked up this last month, and I slept at 9am the whole day yesterday( yeh wtf).
I am a teaching assistant in a course (of 6 F hours) and I need to be there at 9am so guess who is not sleeping tonight?

Yeh lets go Buddha! [HELP]

I am feeling so much better now. I had a very difficult first month of 2025, got trigerred to all of my traumas, I started doing my shadow work. But at the same time, I realise I have other responsabilities in my life [i.e myself and Eden(my dog)]. I need to get back on track for my career choices , my physical health and take care of my mind/mental health, I am currently taking small steps towards it and I am quite glad with my progress.

A. How to live in the present ?

- You should not chase the past
-You should not get too much expectations from the future .
What is past is gone, the future is yet to go
Live in the present moment and see it as it is.

The nature of the mind is to wonder in the past memories.
Sometimes the mind tries to make expectations/dream too much the future.
YOU SHOULD NOT LET YOUR MIND WONDER IN THE PAST OR GO TO THE FUTURE AND HAVE TOO MANY EXPECTATIONS.

Live in the present moment, if you do it correctly , your past will be a good one. your future will also be a good one
Practice?
Meditation + Practice in the real world.
Practices :
1- Take 5 min to live in the present moment and experience it
2- Practice in real life situations, do not cling to external words, actions or factors.

B. How to let go

First rule . The whole world is OUT of our control : People, future situations, future experiences, other people opinions of you.

Whats within our control ? Our reactions /responses towards these experiences ( clin d oeil au stoisicme).
Normally its hard to let go of people and situations in our lives,because our mind want to cling people and experiences.

In Buddhism : Our suffering in our lives is because of our clinging towards external factors.
Its hard to let go of anger, sadness, difficult situations..
BUT everything we experience, all the people we meet , all what we have : One day we will have to let go of ALL OF THIS. May be not today but eventually at the end of our lives.

What we can take at the end is what we gained from our experiences , and people and our reactions to it( Karma principle in Buddhism )
Things and people will fade away from our lives.
EVERYTHING in this world is temporary , nothing is permanent.
Everything, the sadness AND the good moment.
When people are walking away from our lives : Do not hold on to them.

The more we hold on into things, the more we suffer.

Realize the reality of impermanence.
Let them go away. Let them fade.

C. How to heal a hreatbreak?

1）If you need to cry, is ok to cry. Crying release pressure.
2) Find a person to share your sorrow. The person should not give hateful comments about the person who hurt you as that will build up the hatred further.
3) Always reflect and recollect that one day you will be parted and separated with all the dear people in your life.
4) True love will never break your heart, but attachment will.
5) If you need to heal the wound, you need to reduce touching it. Therefore, reduce the amount of attention you give to past memories.
6) No matter how terrible the situation is, it will change one day. You will be ok one day.
7) Know that this experience will make you stronger.

D. How to love without attachment?

Love = Saying to another person that you need them to be happy.
Attachment = You need that person to make YOU happy.

1. In love you think about other people happiness, as a result of this you get the same thing back. but in attachment, you wish your own happiness (Its a form of selfishness, btw).
With attachment, u think you want to be with someone forever and not let go; over-protecting, holding on, and being afraid of losing someone.

2.Each of us has his own private world/reality. and each of us is suffering in their own world.

3.No one is permanent.
3.1 Everything is subjective to change
3.2 Everyone is suffering on their own world.
3.3 You are not in control of this world. You can not control how people behave, treat you.

Nothing lasts forever. Attachments cause suffering. Everything is subject to change. - Lord Buddha