Well today, I talk about my experiences with God. Lately, I am going through alot. I feel hopeless. I find myself in loss of what to do. But I know, that prayer is very important in life. It helps a person to live a godly and healthy life. Prayer helps us maintain a good spirit, and we maintain spiritually. My walk with God has not been easy most of the way. And prayer, as well as reading the bible, helps us also have a very good relationship with our father from heaven, our lord and savior, why I would preach that prayer is very helpful, and is needful for us to continously pray. God loves to hear our prayers and help us with whatever we need. He wants us to put him first in all that we do, to acknowledge him continually. Today, I feel my relationship with God has not been well for months. I used to sin much and for this I am paying a high price, I have mental issues, and always struggled with a bad spirit. When we comit sin, we recieve wrath, affliction, and much suffering, even harrasment. God is always ahead of the game or your life you could say. God hates sin and he does repay a person for their sins. Why we must always confess our sins. God gives us trials and hardships, even tests our faith, but we must never give up and instead thank him for our situations that we face wether good or bad, we always should pray in thanksgiving and have a positive attitude. We should pray for his strength and guidance by the Holy Spirit. Although, some of us may fall into sin or depression as myself, we must always pray. We become discouraged at times, and the more we sin, the worse it gets. In my cade, I am not evil, I struggle with many things, and God chose me to suffer for his name sake and the Gospel's sake. Sometimes we suffer because we were chosen for it, it does not really mean we are a bad person, God chooses sometimes some of the lowliest people to do his work. I had issues I struggled with all my life, and for this I am paying a high price at the same time, because I was never evil from my own heart, I had evil that came from elsewhere, or a bad spirit, so it was not of my own accord. I sinned greatly and so God was calling me by putting in my heart to seek him, and to buy a Holy Bible. It was only then, till I grew closer to him. But previously I was a great sinner. From a child up till about 30 years old, I was still sinning much, and now I am 34 years old, and still sin, but not as much. I have gone through so much, and learned so much from God. I was so bad with sin, that I ended up comming to my families home, because I feared for my life, I caused trouble through the lands because of my mental state of mind and behavior issues. I also suffer from Anxiety, Depression, and I am Special Ed. So I stayed here and lived with my family, and for almost 4 years I stayed in my room for the majority of time, barely going outside. Because I was afraid of going back outside and seeing people I had offended. I was hurt by somebody, it was a female that broke my heart and cheated on me, and I sinned to against her, so I confess I made mistakes too in the relationship and I was obsessed with adult movies that caused me to sin and do the things I did at that time. I used to smoke alot, wether cigerettes or drugs. I used drugs before too. I started at a young age to drink, I drank alot of alcohol back then, I would drink everywhere and destroyed things. I regret my sins however. Although it was a bit too late to change on some things, so I lost her, she stayed with the other man. But now, I continue to suffer and still learn. These years I have done much blible reading and have prayed much. And I must admit, without God, I would not have learned so much or changed for the better. He did repay me for my sins, but I did learn not to sin, and know what it is to fear the lord, our God. He has showed me many things, and I recieved my gift in this very home, the gift of preaching, and it is a gift from heaven above, a gift from God the spirit, a spiritual blessing which is perfect, because all gifts are perfect that come from God. I have learned many things, how to do things on my own, how to preach, and have overcome some of my fears and sins. I observed his ways. I have matured in the process. I have come to know God himself to an intimate level, so I do have a relationship with my God, but I must do my part in the relationship with him. I have born witness to the truth as my spirit testifies to his existance also. The true living God has called me from darkness and into light, but I admit, I have desobeyed in much and rebelled. So therefore I have been here this long for my mistakes, and I have not yet humbled myself. So I have been rejected medical help and have not worked these last years of mine. When we do not pray, often times we suffer the consequences, or when we disobey, that's why it's always good to confess our sins often, because that way we maintain ourselves. Sin is a big burden to having our prayers answered. So thats why I would encourage others or preach here for people's well being, because I know what it is to be afflicted and suffer for sins and by the devil himself. God loves when we obey and do his will, but hates when we become rebellious, prideful, and disobedient. But God has used me as an example and also for his pleasure and his glory. I could have lost my life back where I came from before comming here, I was in so much trouble with many that I fled from my room that I was living in, and left all my things behind, i became poor. I abandoned my two jobs. All was lost, but I supplicated to God that he saved me and that I would serve him in the ministry as a Preacher. It has come with a price, but perhaps it maybe worth it after all. As his word says, all things work for good to those who love him. I have cried here, and have ate food with tears. But my God has shown me many wonders and has blessed me with ever so much, food blessings of all kinds, chinese food, mexican food, burgers, hot dogs, and pizza,many foods just by reading the bible and doing his will, he has satisfied much of my cravings. He shows me and tells me when my prayers are heard or answered. He guides me. He has given me knowledge, wisdom, and understanding. He knows I cannot succeed or do nothing without him, and more because of me being special ed. It takes me a bit longer than others to learn things. But he speaks to me even by dreams and has saved ne even from those who sought my life or wanted to harm me perhaps. I had accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and savior and has delivered me and helped me from so much evil and dangers. God is our strength and refuge. God taught me all that I know and why I know much about his word. Thanks to him and my family I have succeeded much, my parents, my sister, her husband, and my niece and nephew. I love God and my family and because if them i'm still standing and have come clean, but also I live because of my spirit and it's not my time yet to die. I believe God did want me to be a preacher and a prophet to the people, to bare witness to the truth, and guide his people into godliness and righteousness. In any form do note, I am not trying to boast or exult myself with what I say here, I am not better than anyone, we all are equal. But I believe and feel I had to carry on with the mission of the Gospel and ministry for Jesus Christ's sake and the Gospel's, to be a light to the people as Apostle Paul. So in a similar way, I also was a prisoner of Jesus Christ of Nazareth for his name's sake and the Gospel's. But I will confess my sins soon indeed because I do repent and I am ashamed for all that I have done. So I believe it was necessary for everything that happened to me, to be for Jesus Christ name and purpose here on Earth. If I did deserve to die, than I would be dead, but God was saving me to carry on the work of his ministry and to show his works and so that people stop sinning against him and restore things perhaps to how they were. God did not allow no one to really harm me, accept that I get afflicted according to my sins and deeds. And if anybody is to take my life, it is not man that will kill me, because if he did want it that way than I would be laying in a grave somewhere, but he spared me for a reason, but it is God who will take my life away, abd as also I asked him too, because he knows and I know I don't deserve to die by man. But one day, people will know that a prophet was amongst them. And I speak much truth. God forbid I do such a thing as to blog on here and speak lies and sin against him or exult myself especially for vain glory. But I have loved God, his spirit and his word, as well as my family. So God will be the judge of us all. I have seen nany things and heard many things from God, and perhaps I have heard his voice too. So similar to Apostle Paul, I suffered similar things. Apostle Paul was a wicked man before he became an apostle, and his original name was Saul. He persecuted the church and God, and his people, heavily, and arrested many and abused many and killed them. Till one day he was on his way to Damascus with two of his servants to arrest some people I think, and a bright light from heaven on the road shown so bright that saul may have startled. His two servants I believe fell face first to the ground and heard nothing nor saw nothing. So a voice came from heaven above, it was Jesus Christ himself calling out to Saul saying "Saul, Saul, whom does thou persecutest?" And Saul said "Who art thou my lord?" And said Jesus "This is Jesus whom thou persecutest, why does thou persecutest me?" So then afterwards he spoke to Saul and told him that he was going to send him on a mission and he would show him what to do, and that he was to suffer many things for his name sake and will set him as an example to the people to do his work, and his will for the work of the ministry. After these things, Saul was blinded and could not see for three days, and was led by his servants holding on to him into Damscus, they led him by the hands. So afterwards, a prophet named ananiaz or Azaziah saw in a vision that Jesus Christ spoke to him and asked him to go to Damascus to talk to Saul and pray for him, so that he may recover his eyesight, but this man said that he couldn't because that he knew Saul was a man a man of bad repute and a wicked man, so later he agreed to go to Damascus and found him praying in the temple as Jesus Christ had said, he found him praying , and spoke with him and told him what Jesus said and laid his hand on him, and quickly skin peeled off Sauls eyes and his eyesight was recovered, and afterwards Saul was shown what to do and changed his name to Paul and became Apostle Paul. He then claimed he was son of the christ, that he was son of Jesus Christ and belonged to God the father. Then he was set on the mission for the Gospel, he went throughout the lands preaching in Jesus Christ name and preaching the Gospel and good news throughout the lands. So he went forth on his journey, and presched to many and everywhere and disputed in the synogogues and taught them how Jesus Christ met with him and how he was the christ, the living God, and how he was told to preach. So, I believe I also am set for the Gospel too and was made to testify to the truth. I am to preach the Gospel of our lord and savior Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Why, I chose my nickname "Gbro Faith Fyp" meaning Gospeler Brother Faith Fresh Young Preacher, and because I was taught at home for almost 4 years now, that I recieved this precious gift of preaching from God himself. So was I also stopped from sinning and came here, to become living proof of God's existance and so that you all learn to fear the lord and serve him, but also worship in spirit and truth. So that you guys can obey his word and obey his word. I am but a servant only and nothing more, dust and ashes. I also was a heavu sinner and just like Apostle Paul God caught up with me and changed me for the better, and so I can do his work also for his name sake and his ministry. So I became like a prisoner of Jesus Christ also, in this home, so that I could be fully equipped with the knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of the Gospel to teach and admonish his word in righteousnous, boldness, fear, godliness, and with meekness, and holiness.
Thank you all for reading my experiences and testimony. God bless.