and from the archive of Mark MASLOV, many boarding school students are trying to find their relatives, but almost no one succeeds. 26-year-old Mark Maslov Was born on February 19, 1987. tal is an exception to the rule. The search for Mark was born in the Shchekinsky maternity hospital. When he was very young, he got into the North-Ageyevskaya boarding school. Then there was the Odoevsky boarding school, where Mark lived for many years. Suffering from cerebral palsy from birth, he learned to walk, and now we can only talk about the consequences of this serious illness. The fact that he is still ill is no longer possible. The boy didn't know anything about himself. In the Odoyevsky boarding school, he decided for the first time that he would look for relatives. To begin with, he took the simplest and most logical step - he asked to show his personal file. It read: mother lives in Shchekin
fantastic, but after a while my brother appeared in reality – he came to the boarding school when Mark was 12 years old. He told me that he grew up in the Pervomaisky orphanage, then went to live in Chuvashia. However, he didn't say anything about where to find their mother. When Mark turned 18, he was transferred to the Krasivsky psychoneurological boarding school in the Chernsky district. There, saving money from his pension, the guy bought a laptop and left a request on the website of the program "Wait for me– - briefly told his story, indicated the phone number and attached a photo. Years passed, there was still no response. Mark was transferred to the Torokhovsky neuropsychiatric boarding school, where he lives to this day. - Seven years later, on my 25th birthday, the phone rang, – says Mark. - The woman on the other end of the line was crying. It was my mom. The staff of the boarding school did not believe the guy at first, but then they were convinced that he was not making things up. – When Mark told me about it, I doubted, - admits the head of the department, a psychiatrist Vyacheslav Shlegel. - Many of our wards are trying to look for relatives, but few people succeed. Even if the mother and father are really alive, they often refuse to make contact. Someone has healthy children whom they want to protect from communication with a disabled person. Someone is afraid that the neighbors will find out about such a family member, gossip will begin. Of course, recently the attitude towards people with disabilities has changed a lot in society. But it is not necessary to talk about absolute tolerance yet. What happened next resembles the classic plot of a soap opera: a woman came to her son's boarding school. She told me: suddenly there was a premonition that someone was looking for her. Not knowing how to use the Internet, I asked my daughter to check her strange guesses. She soon came across a website where
Mark left a message. A big family - Mark's mother recalled that when her son was born, doctors assured her that the baby was not viable, he was born with severe developmental disabilities, and it would be better to abandon him, - says the chief physician Schlegel. – In fact, in those days it was a fairly common practice to hide
disabled people from society in closed institutions. It turned out that Mark has a big family: two nephews, the same number of sisters and three brothers. The fourth– the one who visited him at the boarding school, was no longer alive at that time. "My father has also been lying for 19 years," Mark said, referring to the death of his parent. Our hero went to visit his newfound relatives several times. They all live together and are very poor. The retired mother has already managed to lie in the hospital several times in recent years due to problems with her legs. However, despite this, he moonlights as a janitor. In general, the situation is such that Mark cannot move to the family – neither the housing issue nor the financial situation allow. - In the first few trips Mark was accompanied by his comrades - from the local inhabitants, those who are more active. Then, when he got used to it and remembered the road, he began to drive himself," explains Schlegel. The talents of the simple-minded In the Torkhovsky neuropsychiatric boarding school, in addition to Mark, there are three hundred more "provided" (so they are called, apparently, because their only income is a pension). Often people with congenital intellectual disabilities come here. Others once led an ordinary life until
mental illness did not overtake. Many have families with whom they can no longer live, because constant medical supervision and medication are required. Or because in an open society they inevitably become outcasts. Schlegel cites as an example one of the residents of the boarding school - a girl from a prosperous, fairly well-off family. Nothing good came of her mother's attempts to take her home. The girl feels trapped in a golden cage every time, lonely and misunderstood. - Imagine how it happens: our wards, people who are considered to be narrow-minded, simple-minded, in fact, are surprisingly talented. They can write with errors, but at the same time they show phenomenal mathematical abilities. Our Mark draws beautifully. All evacuation plans were made by him, and in special graphic programs. Indeed, the guy has a good command of a number of rather complex programs - for photo processing and video editing. Back in 2001, together with his comrades, he "put together" a musical group, which he called "Lotus". The guys are touring boarding schools in the region. - https://vk.com/maslov.mark.aleksandrovich https://ok.ru/maslov.mark.aleksandrovich
Mark Maslov: "Mom called the boarding school for the first time on the day of my 25th birthday"
33-year-old Mark Maslov, a refusenik from birth, spent most of his life in a boardin
I remember it quite clearly. Hobbies formed the basis of my future profession as a programmer. That's all the pleasant memories.
The heaviest pictures from the past are associated with difficulties in movement. For many years I just learned to walk, and it was a serious effort. Especially at first.
If I hadn't learned to move around on my own, no one would have taught me that. Few people think about each child individually in the boarding school, no one pays attention to diagnoses and features.
The children in the boarding school have no helpers, there are no caring adults, everything depends only on the child himself. Because of cerebral palsy, it was hard for me to walk, and I didn't want to sit in a wheelchair.
I understood that I definitely needed to learn how to walk normally, so I decided to move more.
— When did you realize that you could walk by yourself?
— When I was 9 years old, we children were taken on a camping trip. The teacher offered me to go by car, but I decided to go on foot. Myself. We had to walk 6 km .
It was a turning point not only in my personal consciousness, but also in the minds of educators. I realized that I wanted to prove to everyone that I can do a lot on my own.
— Did you have any opportunities to leave the boarding school for a foster family?
- Previously, the topic of disabled people was more closed. In fact, children from correctional boarding schools were cut off from the outside world. It was hard to imagine that a child with a disability left the institution for a family…
The Soviet Union has collapsed, and the principles of isolation still continue to exist. If a person ends up in a boarding school, it is almost impossible to get out of there.
I sometimes went to visit families, but I came back to boarding school. It's hard to say what this is related to. Maybe with my diagnosis, maybe with something else.
You see, my chances of getting out of the system were slim. But I managed to prove my right to an independent life.
In early childhood, life in a boarding school is not very burdensome. But when you grow up, you want to do everything yourself, vegetating indoors is simply unbearable.
Mark could not walk as a child, and now participates in races.
"I have been suing for the right to live independently for 7 years"
— When you decided that you had to leave the system, did someone tell you, did someone help you?
— From an early age, I decided that I would restore my legal capacity myself. I started studying, working on myself.
Then the moment came when this legal capacity had to be proved legally. At that time there was no person who would help me and tell me what to do and how to do it. I had to do everything myself. I found some tips on the Internet. That's probably all.
— How difficult was it to get the necessary information, to convey it to officials?
— It cost me a lot of work to prove to numerous commissions that I am a capable person who can live without outside help.
It was a real hell, I was suing for the right to live independently for 7 years. I think that officials and heads of boarding schools are not interested in letting people go free. We need to fill institutions, show our need to the state.
I collected the necessary documents, certificates, to seek a commission. That's when I
faced with the complete indifference of the system. Officials and doctors ignored my appeals, but I did not back down. I read articles on the Internet, continued to send letters, even connected Moscow volunteers.
As a result, I was assigned a commission that lasted several months. As a result, I convinced the experts that I could live on my own. It was in 2017. I was 30 years old then.
I rented an apartment, waited until I got a place to live.
- Mark, did you want to find your blood mother, relatives?
— At the age of 11, I decided to find my blood family. I hadn't thought about it before, but one day I saw my family in a dream. After that, the desire to meet with them and talk became stronger.
Since there was practically no information about the parents, it took years to search ... Even in the orphanage, I asked for my personal file, found out the names of relatives, remembered the address and wrote a letter. But other people already lived at the address…
— Where else have you applied?
— When I bought my first computer in the early 2000s, I wrote the TV show "Wait for me" on the website, and also placed ads on the network, but all in vain.
One day, one of my mom's friends accidentally stumbled upon my ad on the Internet and told her about it.
Read also - 7 myths about blood relatives of foster children
Mom called on the day of my 25th birthday. We could have met much earlier if mom and her brothers had not moved from the hostel in Shchekino to another place (in the same place in the Tula region). The hostel was to be demolished, they moved to a private house. I had a big family: brothers, sisters, nephews.
Mark met with his blood mother and relatives.
"Mom thought I was either seriously ill or dead"
— What can you tell me about Mom?
- Mom retired many years ago. Previously, she worked part-time as a janitor, and now, for health reasons, doctors recommended her rest. She stays at home, feeds the local dogs. Now I don't communicate with my mother. I can't forget what she did. It's difficult, understand.
Mom said she didn't know where I was, what was wrong with me. She even thought that all these years I was either seriously ill, or even died.
By the way, the nurse gave me the name Mark at birth. They named me after the doctor who delivered the baby.
— Do you have a difficult relationship with your relatives, too?
- yes. From some of them I have heard insulting words addressed to me. Of course, then they call, apologize, but this is not the first time.
Let's change the subject, please.
- Tell me, how did you manage to get a place?
— In August 2019, I received an apartment in Tula from the state. On the birthday of the Governor of the Tula region, officials of the Ministry of Social Protection of the Population handed the keys to me and other former boarding school students. The guys and I have become friends, communicate, help each other.
The apartment in the house was already renovated, so I just had to equip it. I started by creating a 3D model of my home, then made a list of necessary things and gradually began to buy everything I needed.
I found messages on the web about the sale of used furniture. I bought two sofas, a refrigerator. Hung up the chandelier. Now I am doing repairs in the bathroom myself.
— Do you communicate with any of the children from the boarding school? Maybe with teachers?
— Despite what has happened in my life, I sometimes call up with former teachers, a nanny, fellow internat, and my work in a boarding house
This happens extremely rarely, and the conversations themselves are usually about the current: how are you, what news and so on. Nevertheless, it is in my life.
Mark dreams of finishing his studies and finding a second job.
— Do you have any friends?
- Most of all I communicate with Arkhip, he plays in a musical group. I have been collaborating with this group for many years, I made them a clip, congratulations.
"I try to spend money carefully"
- Are you studying or working now?
— I am in college in my second year, majoring in computer operator. In parallel, I work as a programmer and designer: I create websites, work with 3D graphics, process photos in graphic applications.
- Share your rules of life?
- Success depends on the regime and discipline. I wake up at 5 in the morning, exercise, wash, have breakfast and go to school. After studying, I return home, then I go to work.
— You study and work, do you have enough money to live?
— Actually, there is not enough money.
Sometimes I eat very modestly to last until the next paycheck. I try to spend money carefully.
I proved my legal capacity, and the commission changed the disability group. And this decision affected the amount of payments from the state. Now my task is to finish my studies and find a second job. I think that then I will be able to solve my financial issues faster.
— What are you dreaming about?
— I dream of finishing my studies this year, finding a second job. In the future, I would like to continue my studies.
many thanks to everyone Author Maslov Mark Alexandrovich