This has been written by a student of mine - Olga, an eleventh grader of a Moscow region school. Judging from where I stand, her writing merits a high score. The content is relevant to the task; she demonstrates complete command of the conventions of the communicative task; the text is well organised by paragraphing into five passages; she uses a variety of cohesive devices with flexibility; she uses simple and complex grammar forms. Well Olga submitted her writing with few slips and mistakes, mostly coming as semantical inaccuracies, on which I gave her useful commentary and tips. Now, all is present and correct.
You can compare this essay with my own doc on the same subject here
These days the discussion about what the best ways of communication are is gathering pace. I am currently working on a project that focuses on the communication ways preferred by Zetland teenagers. I have found some relevant data given in the form of a pie chart. I will analyse it in the following essay.
The information in the diagram shows the relative preferences for different communication ways among teenagers, as a percentage. Looking at the data, I can outline two main facts. While speaking on the phone is considered to be the most popular option (36%), sending voice messages is the least (7%).
As is seen from the diagram, options for communication vary greatly. The data also shows that "texting" is more popular than "sending emails", by a huge margin, having a 20% popularity rating, compared with only 10% for the latter. I think that the reason for such a difference is that for the “digital” generation using messengers is much more convenient than emailing each other. They consider texting to be one of the simplest and fastest ways of informal communication.
A typical problem that can arise with communication through technical devices is that frequent use of your phones and computers cause eyesight deterioration. As a solution to this problem I can suggest setting time limits on the use of devices. By decreasing your screen time you can become healthier.
In conclusion, I want to say that for me communicating in person is crucial. Only by that you can understand the real feelings and emotions of your interlocutor and build deep personal connections.
By Olga.
260 words
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