Think a little, what does happiness mean to you?
Elizabeth Gilbert's famous inspirational book 'It, Love, Love'. To him, happiness means the individual's personal efforts.
"Fight for happiness, struggle, keep on biting, cultivate the whole world in search of happiness! You may have to go through tough competition to get happiness. And once achieved, you will have to swim constantly to soak in the sea of happiness, if you do not, your satisfaction will be satisfied, happiness will be over. ”
This method of continuous effort may work for some, but recent research has shown different data. This approach, in most cases, calls for reverse damage. With stress, loneliness, and personal defeat. According to this philosophy, happiness is like a shy wild bird, if it catches it, it will fly.
Suppose today is your birthday. Everyone in the neighborhood is trying to please you, but you feel the pressure. Or on such a festive day, everything seems to be tricky.
Such feelings but not yours alone, many suffer in such troubles.
Self-improvement or self-repression?
Iris Moss is studying human happiness in psychology at the University of California. The results of this study can explain the state of mind of people who are unhappy with finding happiness. Here are some solutions to help you succeed in other great things in life.
He said that in the past few decades, he was inspired by the many self-improvement books published in the United States. In the books, happiness was regarded as the most important element of human life. Happiness is not a feeling, but a responsibility to be happy.
He also said,
"Reading these may create some kind of ambition for the lives of people, they may think, I should always be happy, utmost happy! When she tries to be absolutely happy, all the little things in her life get caught up in her eyes. The reason why he couldn't be happy, to blame his own comrade, as well as to blame himself, was once defeated. "
Without understanding, a child is pushed to the test competition. When he finishes his studies with one test after another, then job competition, car house calculations, comparisons. All these wrong affections come to an end in life, remembering that nothing has been done.
The definition of happiness is different for everyone. When you begin to measure your happiness in the eyes of others, your mind will be blown away by the events you used to enjoy before. Good to know, many of the big motivational speakers in all the famous places are suffering from depression in their lives.
Moss creates questions and picks people from different classes and conducts the first step of research on them. The information that comes out of the answer to the question - the complex emotion that leads to happiness, he is unhappy with his present life. But there were many people who did not read books on happiness. As a result, it was not clear from their results that excessive demand would surely make us unhappy.
Moss thought he had to go deeper. He must enter into the human brain and collect information. Whatever you think, that's the job. Moss and his colleagues conducted a second test.
The experiment was artificially reducing the happiness of people, about it. Half of the participants in the experiment were allowed to read a fake newspaper, which contained a detailed essay on the various ways of happiness and their needs. The other half was in the paper about the development and necessity of the judiciary.
The participants were then shown a movie. The film, which was created with a touching look at the winning of the Olympics, asked them what their feelings were. The results showed that those who were reading about the need for happiness could not be happy enough, because for a while they had become ambitious. Happiness is more complicated to them, so don't be happy to be so easy.
Remember, you've ever been to a relative's friend's wedding. You had a plan for this marriage throughout your life. What to wear, how to dress, how to enjoy it! Or a very desirable tour. Five minutes before leaving or going, all your enthusiasm was mixed with the wind. Moss research explains the feelings and causes of all those things that happen in your life.
Moss has shown that hope for happiness can lead to your loneliness and isolation. Then you forget to praise all the people in front of you for your kindness. You can become self-centered to keep an eye on yourself.
Not only Moss but Sam Maglio and Ekung Kim at the University of Toronto in the early '20s, consciously wishing happiness could play in our heads all day, "Time is running out!" Thinking of the happiness of the future can become your present, filled with thorns.
In one of their research steps, they asked participants to write down 5 tasks that would make them happy, for example - how many hours they spend with family a week. Instead of making a list, participants get worried here. They will do such a happy thing in front of them, how long do they think it will be, and at that time they have to worry about whether they will be truly happy.
Maglio says
"Our problem is, we are more than happy, whether we are happy or not. Although or ever I am convinced, I am unhappy with the thought of sustaining this happiness. Let us do the things that make sense to us. "
Maglio also said that the results of their study were not topical drugs for people suffering from depression or depression. Depression is a disease, and it requires normal treatment.
Again, refusing to think about their happiness does not mean that they are asked to refrain from making big decisions in life. There are certain decisions that give us peace of mind, which is good for us. Such as the release of the abusive spouse.
This study will work if there are no major decisions or times of disaster in an individual's life. According to Maglio, social media is changing a lot in the definition and concept of happiness, thereby creating certain forms of happiness in our heads. It is natural for him to feel happier than himself when he looks at another's edited picture, Mackie's happiness.
If you remember sitting down to eat, "so many people have eaten today in the Five Star", that means you are making yourself smaller. The thought of getting bigger than this little one is coming up, then getting into conflict with yourself.
If trouble comes, he will only fight against it and wound up with it. Think of the ups and downs of life as a normal part of life, not a struggle. Take positive aspects of people and praise them, give them love. Would love to own
According to data extant from the study of happiness in the present day, being happy means stopping. Happiness is not a pleasure to eat, but to stop thinking about happiness. Happiness is not here like a bird but like an invisible myth. She is right in front of us, but we can cultivate the whole world if we can find her!