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Chapter 56
Barrie Dale 11 декабря 2018, 22:38
Hello my darling Olya,
Yes - that's right, I said darling .......Because you are my darling. I have now a feeling inside me, that I can not explain - but know that if I just once touch even the very tip of your finger - we will be connected forever.
silly, stupid, I don't know, I am not that clever - but it is so clear in my mind - that once I do it will be like we have never been apart, and will always be together.
I know today was, to put it mildly, a very difficult day for you and your family, and believe me, I was thinking about you.
So, perhaps what I am about to say may seem inappropriate, but like you, I feel as if I have known you longer than any week.
yet still, I have not heard your voice, seen our face, or touched your skin.
So, how can this be so? I have not wrestled with the why's and wherefores - but only the when and where's.
I know that I could be happy with you - how so? because in my head, I play the scenes over and over, of what life could be - not like a lunatic, or an obsessive man - but just as a man.
VOCABULARY
once- однажды, один раз
touch - дотронуться
apart - порознь
inappropriate- не ко времени
wrestlе - бороться
over and over - снова и снова
obsessive - одержимый
beauty drew me in - but the fact you can write and speak English was a great bonus - but decency, intelligence, morality, honesty and kindness go to make a real relationship, and of course .....Love.
we both can not say this yet, how could we? but is not love a seed? the first being attraction, and add the others one by one, and watch it grow - nurture it, protect it, honour it, sheltering from those who would spoil it.
and keep so, for all time ........and no stronger bindings will you find.
I am now at a stage in my life when I can appreciate it more, understand it better - love in my youth was wasted on me - truthfully.
I am not unloved, family, daughters, grandchildren - yes, of course, but to be loved, and to love someone special, your partner, your wife - yes, this I want.
I read the article you sent, such a sad and cruel end, but the bonds of love are so strong, lasting, even when her love left for a new life ....... tragic.
this is the love I speak of - total - perhaps I ask too much - perhaps it is only truly meant for a very few selected people - I don't know, but I know I have love inside me, waiting to burst out of me.
I know that I have a hard exterior, and at work I am a different man, but it is all an act - inside, I am warm honey, soft, a big child, just waiting for the right person - and it will be so sad if I go to my maker, never truly having found love - I hope upon hope, this never comes to pass.
there is no guarantees, this I know - it may not be you - I may not be the one for you - whatever ......But I have a good feeling .......But I will never stop looking - until I find such a love as Stella ......X
Barrie xxx
VOCABULARY
decency - порядочность
seed - зерно
nurture - ухаживать
protect - защищать
sheltering - укрывая
spoil - испортить
unloved - нелюбим
bond - связь
few - мало
selected - избранный
burst out - вырваться наружу
exterior - внешность
maker - создатель
See you. До следующего письма, мой читатель.