I searched English Dictionary for words and wrote a beautiful poem for her. "My first poem which i deliberately forgot long back"
It was a rainy day and our exams were going on. I bought a beautiful rose before reaching the school and kept it in my Racksack along with my Poem.
After the exams, she spotted her with her friends. i called her that i wanted to talk. She was so excited, smiling and nervous. she came to the corridor. I gave her the Poem along with the Rose. She took it from me and ran away to her friends.
I was flying in sky. ( But all lasted for few minutes ) She came back and said that she couldn't take it. I couldn't understand what was happening around me. I was broken into pieces. Felt life stopped there, clueless.
Then i understood that Caste was one of the reasons for her to turn down my proposal. Mischievous students of my class started shaming me, I felt so embarrassed that i couldn't face anyone in class. Passed my time in shame until the year of class got over.
Then everyone went our ways for higher studies. I chose a most challenging course in India, Chartered Accountancy course.
I was 18, During my CA course, i was concentrating on my studies with no love mood. But her thoughts came and went. It was fate, I accidentally met her more than trice during this time. But we never spoke thereafter, smile from distance and leave.
It was the final year of my Course, i wanted to try once again to succeed in my love. I spoke to my sister about this and said her that if i clear this course successfully then i would meet her and propose to her again.
I worked hard and cleared the course with all pride. ( This course is highly respected in India). I got her email id through a friend and sent an email to her about my feelings for her. There was no reply.
I thought i would get a job and talk to her so that she may be convinced that i am successful atleast in life and take care of any responsibility.
I got a job and decided to get her mobile number and talk to her. I called her and spoke. We decided to meet in a restaurant.
Funny, I went with a red rose :D. But she put it in the vase on the table.
We spoke, argued too many things. I tried to explain her that this would work out but she started arguing about caste, her parents and society.
Finally we decided to go in our ways.
I was on my first job. Fews days later during my work, i got a call and it was her.I was surprised and picked the call. She request me to get a job for her girl friend. Without having a second thought i said i would. We started meeting for this purpose few times and their was frequent calls and sms after that.
Yes, "woman are complex - it is very difficult to understand Woman".
She used to scold me when ever i argued - why not marriage.
When i convinced myself, she used to start again with crying and messaging.
I understood her situation and after 9 months of struggle i decided to go apart our ways. We stopped communicating after that.
After few years, heard through her friends that she got engaged to a Brahmin guy and that she cried continuously. Life felt meaningless to me and there was only one person to console me in my life - My Mother.
Years passed on, Girls came and went out of my life. But i lost the flair of Love.
Maturity grew in me, started understanding that love is also about living for others and taking responsibilities.
But the adventure of Love i had in my life created a great impact in me more in a positive way and taught me to see life widely and love everything i do in my life henceforth.
It was not a sad experience but a journey of my Youth.