29.11.19
Heading "Back to the past" - posts from my social networks, which hasn't seen by Zen before. 💫
Few days ago I've ended another relationship. And it's getting easier each time, and people are starting to react much better.
Experience of the past has taught me, that if I wouldn't take process of separation seriously, it will be tailing you, holding you back.
That's why now I try to explain to somebody why I don't want to keep our communication going, very honestly, sincerely and thoroughly, and quit those relationship from my own side at least an the most favourable way.
I wanted to share one of those letters, which I wrote few days ago to the girl, Nesma. We met at Pinterest, that's why it's in English, but I'm Russian, so don't mind my grammar))
"Well, first off all, I don't upset about you, you're nice person, I'm glad that we met when we did :)
But a lot of changed in me since than. My views, believes, and picture of surroundings i wanna be around.
You know that expression, that surroundings create you? I hope I remember it correctly))) Well, complicated thing is, that it so hard to say goodbye to those things and people who not bad, who really nice and good and that stuff.. but not yours. I mean, they develop in other direction than you, and that's the point. One day you realize, that if you want to be somewhere, you have to go there only with those, who's going there too. And if you will slow down yourself just because you too afraid to say goodbye to people or things, that no longer with you completely, you may never reach the place where you really wanna be. You will never became the person you wanna be, and never meet those people, who share the same views and values of yours.
And I go even further, and don't just quit relationships, but trying to do it in the way, where everyone will be satisfied, "you okay, and I okay".
But also I'm really strong about forming my surroundings now. I was trying to keep taking with other person, who also no longer share the same visions and values of my own, and so do I, but we were in the same project, and that was one thing that keep us together. So we decided to talk just about that project and see, how it'll goes. And sad thing is, that even then, during our conversation we could see others different views, and it was irritating.
So, not so long ago, this person blow up and said that can't be around me anymore, that our relationship and conversations are really uncomfortable, and that that's it, she don't want to talk with me anymore. But, she allowed me to keep working in her project and even talk about moments off work.
And that wasn't a good idea, because whenever she was talking with me again, I can't help but feeling tense. So I've decided, that I can't go on like that, and asked her to really quit our relationship at any point. And offer to go separate ways, wishing luck and happiness, because I wasn't angry on her, just feeling tense and understand, that right now we are really different persons, and our directions are different too.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is you're really nice person, Nesma. And without false modesty I can say the same about myself, because I'm working on it, I develop my talents, explore my true nature, raise my energy, and purify it, that's why people get attached to me. I seems really pure and shiny and kind, but it not the same thing being that person, and being someone's mate. To be really close friends you have to share same values, same directions of developing and stuff with person, not just nice talking about distant things.
And now I'm really divide those, who are my true friends, and those, who admire me, or whom admire I. This is different. And with those, who admire me but doesn't share my values completely I prefer not to talk much in person, because it steals my time to spend it on those, who are really my true partners.
So, despite how it may sounds to you, I want you to know, that I'm grateful for everything that happened during our conversations. And if you still wanna follow me - you can do it freely. You could still admire me and wish me happiness. But, since we don't share the same values and directions of development, I don't want to go any further in our relationship. Yet. I'm sorry.
And please, never bertay yourself, that's what this all about. Especially, when you like someone. Don't try to become someone, you're really don't, just because that person will like you more after that. Always remain true to yourself, your believes and don't let anyone destroy it. It's about sincerity. And if you will be completely honest with yourself, you could be honest with others without fear. And the world will reward you for that by sending you true friends and partners, opportunities and everything that you really deserve.
I'm on that path and can assure you: it's worth it. Yes, you'll have to let go lot's of things and people, let go beliefs, that don't really yours, let go attachments, that slow down you. But you will also get lots of wonderful things, much more cooler, that those, which you had to let go. You'll have to be courageous, and really know who you are, what you what, and where you going. With this confednce the whole world full of opportunities and endless love and happiness will open to you. I wish you that from the bottom of my heart ❤️.
But also saying goodbye, for now. And if in some ways our paths will cross - it will be great. Meanwhile, I wanna go in my own direction, wishing you find your own too, and be true to it and to yourself. Good luck, dear Nesma! And pls don't be too upset ❤️"
She responded that it was a little sad, but also very deep and very touching, and perhaps the happiest separation in your life. And I'm happy, that such sad processes as separation, really could leave you with good feeling. This is why I invest so much in such letters. People deserve happy separations ❤️.