In Anti-Bullying Week, Eleanor Jones investigates why this disturbing behaviour is rife in the horse world.
IN September, a 14-year-old rider who had been sufering at the hands of bullies took his own life. The tragic death of Bradley John has led to increased numbers of people standing up against bullying in the horse world, a widespread problem that can be seen from grassroots to the very top levels of the sport.
Rosie Jones McVey, who has just completed a PhD in social anthropology, has been studying the ethics of British horse people. She feels some of the positive attributes of equestrians can have a darker underside.
“The good side of the horse world is that it’s very community-based, ” she says. “But the other side of the coin can be bullying. You can get tight-knit communities who look out for and support each other — they can be very inclusive — but if you’re not in that clique, you’re not welcome."
Rosie says issues can arise when people on livery yards spend time with others who do things diferently.
“Often that’s where bullying is the worst, ” she says. There’s a huge amount of choice and you can be so diferent to the next person — they like traditional dress and you’re all about matchy-matchy, or they feed oats and you think they’re poison. It’s unlikely your yard mates will do everything the same, and it’s hard to let it go.
“And while some of these issues are small, most link in our imagination to deeper moral judgements about whether you ‘deserve’ to be there, or really love your horse and know what you’re doing,” she says. Are you a spoilt, upper-class person with a horse too good for you, or do you not care about your horse because you don’t put a rug on it?
”Rosie cites equestrians’ hierarchy in terms of riding skill and knowledge, and the way people are judged for whether or not they are “horsey enough” — and, she says, often the tack room chat about “Sarah who doesn’t do it right” can be some people’s way of making themselves feel better.
“It’s ‘She does it diferently, so she must be wrong,” Rosie says. “People feel threatened, so they’re bitchy to make themselves feel more secure. Bullies are the problem, but it often comes from someone feeling vulnerable and trying to control the situation — like an abusive relationship.”
Rosie says that when ethics are involved — people think others are unethical because they do something diferently, so horse welfare must be at risk — they can get “evangelical”.
This often comes out on social media, with people taking advantage of the anonymity of the internet to pass judgement on their peers, as well as those criticising top athletes for what they see as ethical or moral issues.
“People feel surer of themselves by putting others down,” she says. There’s a lot of ethical one-upmanship, a kind of virtue in being self-assured and being a critical thinker, rather than someone who just follows the top riders.
”And while Rosie believes a great deal of bullying behaviour may not be intentional, there are many riders who believe a bullying style of instruction is “normal”.
It’s not normal if you look at other sports but with riding’s military heritage it seems it’s OK if you know what you’re doing to talk down to those who don’t.
I’ve seen students called fat, berated for being ‘shit’, deaf students mocked — it’s absolutely bullying. And the students are loyal to the instructors, again like an abusive relationship; your confidence is knocked so you latch on to the most confident person.
I heard one trainer saying, ‘We’re all laughing at you, even the horse is laughing at you because you can’t do it, ’ and the student was in tears. I asked afterwards if she was OK and she said, ‘Yes, I needed a kick up the arse. ’ But if you heard that in any other context — it’s deeply disturbing that we’ve just got used to it.
Luckily, times seem to be changing and people realise they should be treated with respect — you shouldn’t have to be mean to be respected.
THE Anti-Bullying Alliance defines bullying as the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. It can happen face-to-face or online.
Its efects, Rosie says, can include the victim feeling excluded and “held down”, but it can also mean that if people do not feel able to ask for advice, in fear of ridicule, that horses can sufer, whereas on supportive yards horses and owners both benefit.
Para rider Matthew Dalley, who competes in dressage, showjumping and cross-country, as well as volunteering for the Riding for the Disabled Association (RDA), has sufered bullying online.
“I love social media,” he says. I have my own page, but also run the RDA’s for my group and region. I try always to be positive when I post. But people sometimes say negative, upsetting things.
As a rider with physical disabilities, my riding isn’t always as tidy as some. Recently I posted a video and someone commented saying my riding was all wrong and I was doing harm to the horse. I said I was disabled, but still they said hurtful things. I know my horse is fine. I have a great coach and my horse has the best physio who checks him regularly and good saddles properly fitted. His welfare is something I care a lot about.
Matthew did not engage further with the bully but talked to his coach.
“We’re happy about what I do with my horse and I didn’t want to let someone else’s negative thoughts stop me from doing something I love,” he says, adding that speaking up helped him to feel confident and ignore the comments. My advice is stay positive, stay confident, talk with people you know well and don’t sit and worry on your own. This certainly works for me.
Bradley John’s father, Byron John, agrees, urging victims to speak up in an attempt to stamp out bullying behaviour.
THE Countryside Alliance has also been speaking up on behalf of victims, after nearly two-thirds of more than 500 respondents to an online questionnaire said they had been bullied online for their support of country sports.
“I was called a criminal, a murderer and likened to a paedophile,” one hunting supporter says. “It seems that rural concerns are an outlet for vile hatred that would — quite rightly — never be acceptable in any other area.” Others say they had received death threats, or threats to their children or pets, while some businesses have had to close social media accounts.
The Alliance is continuing its campaign and putting pressure on social media platforms to do more to stamp it out.
“The Countryside Alliance will not let this issue rest until people can share their love of the countryside online without fear of abuse,” says head of policy Sarah Lee.
Another group taking action is Tudor Rose Equines, a riding group that launched the “Not on my Yard! ” anti-bullying campaign two years ago. Group co-founder Samantha Thurlow says the campaign has taken “great strides”.
“The main battle has been the simple acknowledgement that there’s a big problem,” she says. It’s not just here, either. We receive messages from all over the world and until that’s acknowledged, we won’t move forward.
”Samantha says the problem exists at all levels, from livery yards to international competition, and agrees with Rosie that tackling the“ suck it up” mentality is key. The group has been working with college students to spread the word, and running inclusive riding clinics and activities at which nervous and novice riders are welcome.
“We need to come together to call people out,” Samantha adds. Social media plays a massive part in fostering a certain mentality because everyone’s lives are on display, and when someone’s diferent, it’s a cause for attack. There’s often a mob mentality, where people see someone else on the attack and think that’s OK. But if something’s wrong, it’s wrong, and if nothing is said people carry on regardless.
“We need to set a standard of behaviour and not be afraid to ask, ‘Why are you saying that? Why do you think that’s OK? ’. We need to turn the tables and have strength in numbers, and we need to show victims that it isn’t OK, as so many blame themselves.”
GOVERNING bodies are also frequently seeing incidents of bullying, online and in person.
“We’re regularly contacted by individuals who have concerns about social media posts where they or someone they know feels they are being victimised,” says British Showjumping head of communications Maria Haig. At best, it is just general concern about a post, but there have been numerous instances when the individual has been deeply distressed and legal action has been sought. This isn’t strictly limited to those who are named in posts, but also of those who incur stress indirectly as a result of content posted.
The rise in complaints across my desk has been dramatic and, with mental health such a topical issue, I find that quite shocking. Hopefully, via increased awareness, we can start to see the upward trend reverse.
”The National Pony Society is also among those taking action, running safeguarding training for judges and stewards, while British Dressage (BD) cited the “culture endemic within equestrianism that needs to be challenged if we are to promote the basic values of equality and inclusivity we all want within our sport”.
BD communications manager Winnie Murphy says she feels part of the problem is that as riders we are all so passionate, so emotions can run high.
“Whenever you get a passionate group of people you always have diferences of opinion and strong characters,” she says. “We’re all united by a love of the horse but that doesn’t make everything right or acceptable. If we could put half as much efort into making this a happy place as we do into moaning about each other, the horse world would be an amazing place. ”