How to learn to read the thoughts of the object of your sympathies or other people, because our thought is one of the most controversial, unknown, complex phenomena of the universe. Sometimes I want to know what thoughts another person has, to understand him without words about what he thinks. There is nothing impossible, it is also possible to learn.
You just need to understand at once that this is not a unique method of development of your brain, with the help of which you can read the most intimate human thoughts. This is just a set of techniques with which you can understand a man without words, guess what he thinks.
How to learn to read people's thoughts - Preparing
Before you try to understand other people, you have to understand yourself. You need to get rid of the things that can mislead you. The most important danger to the "reader of thoughts" is your own misconceptions. Psychologists call them projections. Almost every person is associated by most with other important people in their lives, parents, friends, relatives, former lovers.
Comparison is made by some insignificant details. For example, your father loved to smoke cigars and your man too. If you couldn't trust your father, he was an unnecessary person, you would unconsciously transfer the same feelings to your loved one. Your behavior will also become similar to the way you behaved with your father.
Automatically your objectivity has decreased, now you will not be able to understand the man, as the objective facts will be added to their own feelings and misconceptions. Get rid of your mistakes, don't compare them. Your man is your man, and your father is a different person, not like him at all.
How to learn to read the thoughts of others - Training
Before you read the thoughts of the object of your sympathies or other people, it is worth practicing. First you need to learn about yourself, your habits, remember how you act in different situations, what gestures you use, how you speak, etc. Once your behavior has become conscious, start training on your girlfriends. Don't worry, it won't hurt them in any way, on the contrary, it will help your communication.
The main skill to train is empathy, an attempt to understand the feelings of a loved one. Usually there is little compassion in human behavior. Even with a loved one who has had grief, the person behaves differently. He or she is not sympathetic, but tries to give advice and tell what to do.
It is better not to do this. Don't give advice, don't blame outsiders, don't try to tell them how to live their lives, but feel sympathy. Say that you understand your friend's feelings. Say her feelings, for example, "yes, you're angry now", "you're upset". When she starts to talk, it is worth repeating her most emotional words. For example, she says, "He said he didn't need me anymore.
Then you should say, "You had the feeling that he didn't need you. Repeat these passages. This technique was called paraphrasing. It helps to establish contact with the person you are talking to, making them feel understood and heard. When using this technique, the person tells you what they would normally hide.
How to learn to read minds - Gestures and facial expressions
It is worth mentioning at once that one gesture says almost nothing about human behavior. Probably, many people watched the TV series "Theory of Lies", there is a very detailed scheme by which you can identify the feelings of a person. However, even an experienced professor Lightman could not always understand what these or those gestures mean.
Because it is necessary to notice the whole set of nonverbal signals and interpret them according to the circumstances. The sign taken out of context without confirmation of the tone of voice, mimicry, tempo of speech and analysis of the situation does not mean anything.
Let's list some non-verbal signals and tell about their meaning. If a person lets his or her hands into his or her hair, caresses it, guides it through the nose, licks the area around his or her lips or guides you through it with his or her finger, he or she seduces you. You are definitely cute to him, he wants you to like him.
Any similar movement can be a sign of anxiety. If a person is constantly knocking his toes on the table or is constantly talking from side to side, it is worth asking what is bothering him.
If his lips are clenched, his eyes squeezed and his hands fist clenched, it's a sign of aggression. This man is better left alone, let him calm down. If the timbre of the voice is higher than usual, the pace of speech is fast, he shrugs his shoulders, it is likely to experience uncertainty.
Accelerated speech and an increased tone of voice may also indicate a lie if combined with gestures such as a hand covering the mouth or back of the neck, with the eyes moving left and up.
Take a closer look at other people, then you will be able to understand them without words, and you will not need any more than the ability to read human thoughts.