Hello, dear subscribers.
Today I would like to discuss with you the topic of motherhood. Let's consider the issue of having the first child in the family when a woman is a mother. What changes in a woman's life during this period? How should she behave and what should she do? Let's look at this situation together with you.
Young mothers can be different. Some are fully committed to their children, sacrificing their interests and needs. Others don't have time for the child at all because of work or self-employment. And someone thinks that life has not changed, and organically fits the baby into their usual plans.
Some mothers believe that they have received the most important award in life - motherhood, and without the rest give themselves to their children.
There are those whose life remains largely the same: some of these mothers curse themselves for not being able to give their child due attention for various reasons, while others believe that they should not.
And some simply sacrifice themselves and give themselves to the child completely, verbally telling everyone around them that they do not want to do it at all.
And here we have a lot of questions, and the main one among them is whether motherhood is a sacrifice? What are we sacrificing? Why do we become victims? How do you behave when you have a child?
These are the questions we will address in this article.
Why and how do some mothers sacrifice themselves?
Any mother sacrifices her interests, time and energy. But everyone does it differently.
If a woman gives only a part of herself to a child and leaves room for herself and her husband, then everything is fine because there is no sacrifice here, everyone is fine and everyone is happy.
But some women sacrifice themselves almost completely. Some do it with joy, while others force themselves. In the first case, the mother lives with the idea that she wants to forget about herself, and her desire coincides with her mother's duty. In the second case, the woman does it through force, because, as she thinks, it should be. She doesn't understand that in fact, she was simply imposed these principles, which are the behaviour of her mother, which she observed in childhood, or the reproaches of others that she should spend more time with the child.
So why do moms sacrifice themselves? Why don't they understand this and in most cases don't they try to change something?
If a woman goes to the victim voluntarily, it is most likely because she is running away from something or is not satisfied with something. These factors may include a poor relationship with her husband or family, isolation, dissatisfaction with her appearance, character, or even confusion. And when she goes into the life of a child, Mommy realizes that she will be able to build everything as she wants, because she has full power over her baby.
If a woman follows the path of imposed stereotypes, in most cases the reason is her upbringing. She uses the example of her mother, who reproached her as a child for sacrificing everything for her, other children and her family. Or maybe the woman had a strict upbringing as a child, and she hasn't been able to cross the line yet, because she's not used to thinking for herself - she's used to doing what her family says, and her family is always dissatisfied with the fact that she doesn't do much of the child's work or doubts about her mother's abilities.
Is it dangerous to be a victim?
In any case, it will not do any good. There are negative factors in every sacrificial situation that are very destructive.
If this step is voluntary and the woman gives herself up to her child without a trace, she will be in trouble in the future. Having given up everything, she will be left alone in time: the child will grow up and distance herself from her friends, she will lose contact with them, she will lose her job and even her hobbies and her relationship with her husband will deteriorate (if he or she hasn't escaped at all by that moment).
If the woman has taken this step "by force", then in this situation, most likely, she will not be able to be "captive" for a long time, with time she starts to hate herself, her child and people around her. This hatred will destroy her relationships with her loved ones and, ultimately, herself.
What to do to avoid the unnecessary sacrifice of the mother?
If you feel like a victim, it will seem difficult to rebuild your life at first glance. But nothing is impossible! For every mother, the main thing is the happiness of her child. And what happiness can we talk about if the mother and the whole family are unhappy? After all, the condition of loved ones is very quickly reflected on the child!
It is worth remembering that from their problems behind the back of the child will not hide and they will not disappear, and over the years they will only become more. Problems need to be solved. Therefore, find the strength and take the time to change what you do not like in your life. Clean yourself up, restore harmony in the relationship with your husband, if they are broken, deal with other problems from which you want to run away. Then you will have time, strength and the opportunity to give your child and family more without having to sacrifice yourself.
It is also necessary to remember at all times that it is necessary to live in harmony with oneself, with the child, and with close people. Never refuse to meet your needs, pay attention to your loved ones and especially your spouse. Always remember that the appearance of a woman is very important and find time to take care of yourself. Do whatever you like, because you can combine most of your hobbies with motherhood and find time for everything. This is where your desire and thoughtful time planning are important. You can also arrange for your husband and other family members to take over some of your work so that you can meet your needs. Remember that your opinion, hobbies and views of life are there and you should not always put your child in the lead.
Dear Mommy!
I want you to be as happy as your children and your whole family. Find harmony and balance in everything. And dads should remember that if a mother is sad, ill or deprived of something, it will affect the whole family in due course. Everything in the home and family are kept on the shoulders of women, so it is worth to be more attentive to his beloved wife, try to see her difficulties and if possible to help correct the situation.
Be happy, success you in the reign of their children.