Raise your hand if you've never heard anyone say, “I'm going to date older men because they're older!”
I know everyone has heard this statement before. For too many, it is said with the mirage of a false sense of security.
Here are a few things to consider when it comes to dating someone older or younger:
1. Age does not always reflect maturity or character.
While wisdom comes with maturity of life, it only appears through our decisions and actions.
Just because your new man is older than your last, doesn't mean he won't be cheating on you or mistreating you. His character and values are what will determine how he treats you, not his age.
There are some old men still behave like kids. Discern and choose wisely.
2. You might lose out on some life experiences.
Our 20 years are when we are trying to understand who we are and what we want from life. It's a fun-filled time, but it's also probably filled with a lot of uncertainty.
If you're a 30-something woman dating a 20-something man, you need to understand what the 20-something man wants today can be very different in three to five years... Or tomorrow!
It is usually in our late 20s, when we establish more than one identity and focus. This is one of the reasons why when people get married in their late 20s rather than their 20s, their risk of divorce decreases.
Age gaps in the 30s and not only usually do not mean so much and with good reason. These people are more than likely to be at similar multi-stage lives.
For example, a 40-year-old and a 32-year-old will likely have in common more than a 28-year-old and a 20-year-old, although both represent an age difference of eight years.
“The thrill of going out with someone
whether old or younger is emotion.”
3. Large age gaps have a price.
If you're a young girl and than at 25 or 30, you might think it's nice or attractive to date with a sugar dad who is the age of your father. However, you may want to consider a couple of things.
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For one, who is getting older and who affects things like sexual desire, health and goals. You can find yourself attending more medical appointments than dates.
Yes, both could be within reach of sexual peaks, but it is not always the case. While you are thinking about starting a family, you may not have the urge or energy to become an active and committed parent again.
Another thing to consider is relationships thrive on similarities. It's hard to be similar when you've been around for several generations. Your idea of good music is Beyoncé © and its is temptations and Drifters. Those who do for uncomfortable car rides!
4. You will not be able to create stronger than a bond.
When there is a big age difference in meetings, usually one person has a consolidated life, while the other is building one. It's hard for an exciting party to things he or she has already done.
Buying a first home, having a first child, starting a career - those are all things that bring couples together and strengthen their bond, especially when they are absolute novelties shared.
5. I do not think the hype!
For many people, the emotion of dating someone older or younger is about the emotion and the challenge more than it is about intentions or substance.
This goes back to dating with a purpose and understanding of what you want first goes back to everyone.
Some guys are pursuing older women because they want to be able to brag to their friends or because she will take care of him. Some women are attending younger boys because they have more energy and are more fun.
When the fun slows down and the thrill of the chase fades, is this someone you can be best friends with, relate to and willingness to a mutual understanding with?
They are all for love, but I am more for people who choose wisely when making dating decisions. A big age difference won't be a disaster every time, but please be aware of some falls you may encounter in the corners.