They fell in love with a friend and started living and living and making good money. Approximately so beautiful, fairy tale relations in books are described. However, everything in life is not so smooth and okay. Love is not the only reason to enter into a relationship.
Unforeseen circumstances, external pressure, complexes, fears can also drive two, sometimes completely different, people under one roof. If the relationship has not passed the stage of gradual, unhurried rapprochement, the fairy tale turns into a sad story. Relationships become a "suitcase without a handle", to carry heavy and throw a pity ... Could it be avoided? Yes! If you know in advance the true reasons for your passionate desire to "marry" or "get married" and say to yourself in time: "Stop is a fake!
What leads to an unhappy relationship?
1. escape. In families where every step is controlled and the "upbringing" is carried out through humiliation, criticism, punishment, children try to leave the parental nest at the earliest opportunity. But there, outside the house, it is scary. Parental negative attitudes have already been mastered. The world seems scary and ruthless. Yes, and just so from home, no one will let go. There is a solution - to run away to a new family, passing the responsibility for their fears to another person. Such an alliance is created not on the desire to become happy, but on the desire to escape from the pressure of relatives. Incorrect prerequisites make a marriage unhappy, filled with mutual claims and contradictions.
Loneliness. Not everyone is able to feel self-sufficient, successful and self-confident. Some spend a huge amount of energy to find "their soul mate". And in most cases it is not about love, but rather about the desire to extinguish their inner conflicts. "There will appear a person who will love me and everything in my life will get better" - this is the most common misconception. A person who is unable to live peacefully with himself or herself and tolerate loneliness cannot maintain the necessary balance between his or her own interests and those of others. He or she becomes dependent on the partner and tries in every way to keep him or her, even using blackmail or guilt.
3. immaturity. When passions and relationships are raging inside and the cloud of romance is shrouded in, reality retreats. However, as long as the pregnancy test does not return the lovers to the harsh reality. If the relationship is at the stage of easy dating, many couples get confused. What to do? The old romance is replaced by a worrying expectation. Real actions and inner maturity come to the fore. There are fewer beautiful words and theatrical gestures. Now it is time to think about earthly things. The reproaches are becoming more frequent: "You used to be different! There is nothing surprising that almost 90% of such marriages end in divorce.
4. Socium. No matter how much you look at it, people in society are more sympathetic to family people. Have you never been married? It's strange. Wasn't married? Something is clearly wrong with him. Some people find it very difficult to live by constantly justifying their "unusual behavior. Wherever a single person is, he or she faces a monotonous reaction: "Whenever", "why", "as much as possible", "you lose", "children - the meaning of life", "time is running out". And how many regrets are heard from the lips of beloved parents. Some people do not survive, choose the most acceptable option and... make themselves miserable.
5. Past resentment. Wounded self-love is capable of the most crazy deeds. To part with the hurtful past does not work, and it continues to dictate new realities. You have to prove to yourself, but above all to your former partner, that everything is not so bad. And the following relations are arranged for show. One partner is under the illusion that he has finally found his happiness, and the other is looking for ways to demonstrate the former "ideal life" and organizes photo shoots, places romantic posts in social networks, and at the same time tries to squeeze the new partner into his expectations and find similarities with the past. Such relations are extremely unstable. The "Avenger" sometimes plays a play of a happy family life, then, being alone in the bedroom, arranges hysterics and hates his current partner. Neither side of the relationship finds happiness.
6. Pity. There is a category of people, especially among women, that does not distinguish between love and pity. When they come across a destitute, neglected, hungry person, they rush to his aid. The mother's instinct comes into play, and nothing can separate them from their mentee. Sacrificing their interests, health, tears and bruises, they can stay close to an alcoholic, drug addict or tyrant for the rest of their lives. At first glance, this relationship seems absurd. But each of the partners draws its own benefit from them. One gets the necessary service, the other tries to assert himself and run away from his problems.
If you are now in front of a choice and have found among the listed reasons your option - do not rush! Think about what this relationship will give you? What are you running from, what are you afraid of? Deal with your internal conflicts. What prevents you from relaxing and wishing yourself true, sincere love?
If you find it difficult to find the cause, you can always seek help from a psychologist. Together, you can eliminate the source of your inner discord much more quickly and easily.
Remember, life is only given once. Time cannot be bought, returned or lured by sweet promises. Appreciate love and be loved!