The famous host Dou Wentao in his show about his first love.At the time, he was a college student. When he heard the other side to him after the breakup, he felt the sky collapsed, overwhelmed, only to walk aimlessly everywhere. This walk is more than a month. He was a bit like Forrest Gump in "Forrest Gump," and when he had Jennie left, he just wanted to run and run for more than a year.
However, Dou Wentao's first love girlfriend, "Forrest Gump" in Janet like nothing like people, the food to eat, the sleep, the play.
After the breakup, it was a matter of two people, but after the same love, the reaction after the breakup is vastly different.I know people after the lovelorn, the fastest is asleep on the recovery of vitality, the slowest in the heart and each other entangled ten years, or not to love the threshold, so far single Wang.
Why is it so different when you're in the same relationship?
Because care, so sad.
So, do you care about the person you're in love with, or about the intimacy you've built together? And how much do you care? 100%, 50%, 20%?Li Ao's love philosophy only a little love, before death never forgets or ex-wife Hu Yin dream, after all, the impact of breakup on a person depends on the individual inner self.
How to be a better person after a breakup refers to the concept of inner self. It says: "there is evidence that there is a correlation between how much self you can feel and how much you can heal. If a person cannot get and talk about his feelings, he will need to adjust to the crisis much longer than others."
Simply put, the more complete your inner self, the less time it takes to get out of a relationship or divorce.
"How to be a better person after a breakup" the book tells you what to do after a breakup, and the 19 steps in the book are a proven set of methods that have helped millions of readers to recover from the pain of divorce, breakup, or losing one's partner and rebuild their lives.
"How to be a better person after a breakup" has two authors.Bruce.Fisher, a Ph. D. in education and the founder of the "post-divorce mental reconstruction model," has been in the business for more than 30 years, has sadly died of cancer in 1998. Another author, Robert. Alberti is a psychologist, marriage and family therapist, bestselling author of your absolute right. It is worth mentioning that since its first publication in 1981, the book has been printed in nearly a million copies, translated into many languages, and has a wide range of influences in the world.
The biggest feature of this book is the book references many of the real cases of Dr. Bruce's class participants, from the perspective of emotional help break up people into bad mood step by step out of the haze, Chinese readers just follow the steps of reading this book, can help you deal with the emotional problems left after the breakup.
In the Blues. In the 19 rebirth modules presented by Fischer, I thought, Why is the difference between people and people after a breakup so big? The question was inspired, carefully screened a bit, mainly with five points.
The rate of truth
Truthfulness means that you are honest with yourself and honest with your relationship.
The author points out: to love forever, one of the key is the truth.
For some, however, it is a matter of urgency. Because they are used to deceive themselves before they deceive others.They can not talk about their true feelings, obviously feel that the breakup is good for both sides, but still deceive themselves breakup is a painful thing.
Those who break up after the truth about themselves, often better. Even if the breakup is a painful thing, but it is only a pain for a while, encountered the next type of their own love, the feeling of love again.
Those who do not dare, can not be honest with their own people, first, make up a variety of stories to deceive themselves and others, for a long time, it has become a knot. Therefore, if you are such a person, it is better to practice honesty to yourself first, let the pain cross your heart, and then drift away in the wind.
A sense of self-worth
A sense of self-worth, also known as "self-concept" and "self-esteem," refers to the way you look at yourself and as a person, your core belief in your own values.
Say good-bye touched many people. Many couples or couples break up a very destructive way, such as by micro-blog each other black material, slander each other's personality and other subordinate behavior, these will affect a person's own evaluation.
People with a low sense of self-worth are even more affected by the destructive break-up.
People with a high sense of self-worth are less affected and do not distort self-consistent cognition.
Therefore, after breaking up, you may wish to temporarily pull yourself out of the relationship, as serious as possible, objectively evaluate yourself.When you look at yourself truthfully, then you can look at the broken relationship truthfully, life has hope to move forward.
The ability to put down the fear
In how to be better yourself after a breakup, the author says, breakups create all sorts of fears. After breaking up, the most immediate fear is " breaking up is really a shame, let others know, how to do?"Or fear of becoming a divorcee overnight.
Jules, the owner of a fashion shopping site in the film "The Intern," was left alone in a graveyard after learning that her husband had been cheating on her.In hindsight, the idea was laughable.
But for people who break up, there is always so much, so much fear in life.How to do it?The author says the best way to conquer fear is to make yourself feel them, and the only way out is to go out all the way.
Learn to deep relaxation, can reduce their own fear. But don't think that relaxation is an easy thing to do. There are many ways to relax, such as running, traveling, meditation, yoga, and so on.
Healthy relationship
In all personality, there are two extremes: excessive solicitation and excessive pay. When two extremes of people meet, they strike a balance in the short term, and the little life has a taste. However, if one party wants to change, the birth of a less inclined, the relationship also burst. It can be said that these two extremes are not healthy relationships.
Being human, from the Bible to the Buddhist scriptures teach us to give, but not to learn to accept good gifts properly.Therefore, many people form a concept:rather than accept, it is better to give.In an intimate relationship, over-paying sooner or later will one day drain yourself and spoil the relationship.
The idea of a healthy relationship: nourish others as well as yourself.The best part of a relationship is to give each other, to nourish each other, to nourish each other and your intimacy.
When a person is not taught the concept of healthy relationships, when he broke up, he is easy to cling to the past love affair and marriage. Learn to discern what a healthy relationship is, then go find, operate, and happiness will wait for you at the next intersection.
Mature love
Many people seem to be in the emotional pursuit of“unconditional love”, it is a pity to tell you that the author believes that unconditional love refers to parents or other people do not because of we good before love, but love what we are. This love is not really unconditional, I call it mature love is more appropriate.
Mature love is to love the way it is; likewise, to love someone else is to love the way it is to love him or her. Simply put, your ex loves your strengths and does not accept your weaknesses, it is not mature love. When you understand this, then it should be glad to break up this thing, because it gives you the opportunity to find mature love.
Jay Chou has a song you are happier than you used to be.But when we change our perception of ourselves and learn about mature love, we can choose to be the person who you are better than ever.