Hello, dear subscribers of my channel.
I want to talk to you today about how you can bring your husband to household chores. Many women complain that their husbands don't help them around the house and wonder how to change their husbands' behaviour in household and household affairs. The answer is there! I want to offer a solution: three ways to bring her husband to domestic chores.
Let's remember what the first year of life together usually looks like? Husband and wife passionately love each other, try to please each other in everything, help each other and it is, of course, beautiful. Especially, in this case, the wife tries. She cooks, she serves the table, she makes hot tea to serve it hot, she irons all clothes, cleans. That is, she does everything to make her husband comfortable and good. And the man who probably cooked and cleaned at home with his mother stops doing it. If he didn't do it and got used to this attitude of his mother and then his wife, he will never do it again.
This is where the problem arises: when a child is born, the woman has much more responsibilities, much more concerns, and of course she wants more help. And her husband is not used to it. Husband is used to the care of his wife, accustomed to the fact that he is served everything, to the fact that he has everything ready. What is the way out?
Ask your husband to help
If you're just starting a family life, your first year, if you're just having a baby, or if you're just having a baby, start talking to your husband about how important it is for him to help you. Talk a lot. Talk mostly not in terms of accusations, not in terms of evaluating his actions, not in terms of accusations of his mother, his family, that he was not raised in this way. That is, in no case do not evaluate, do not blame. Just talk about your feelings, about your condition: how difficult it is for you and how you feel. And be sure to say what kind of help you want him to give you - men understand only the specifics, without any hints.
This is the first recommendation: If you have only the beginning of your family life, the first time after the birth of your child or before that, be sure to talk to your husband about what you would like to change in your household relationship. How would you like everything to happen, and what exactly do you not like in the way it is happening now.
Include family members in family breakfast and dinner services
If you already have some experience of family life and your husband is used to a certain lifestyle at home, to the way you manage the household, start to change it slowly.
Therefore, the second recommendation is to have family breakfasts, lunches and dinners with the whole family at the table. Include all family members in the table service. That is if you need to bring something, be the commander in charge of the process. Ask your child if they are old enough. Ask your husband to put something on, pick it up. The woman who has prepared all this lunch has the right to sit and eat quietly, without running away.
Accustom your home to this and it will be a big step towards changing the attitude to female labour in your family. Because everyone will feel what it feels like to serve the family at the table.
Plan and distribute household chores
Next recommendation: Plan your family day clearly and allocate responsibilities.
What does this look like in practice? When the whole family gathers for evening tea, fruit, or for another purpose, i.e. when everybody gathers together in the kitchen or in the nursery, there is such easy communication. And that's when it's time to talk about what to do the next day and what to do during the day. Usually a lot of household chores a woman does by default as if it were necessary. That is, it just takes on all the duties or most of the responsibilities. And even if something is given to someone to do - a child or husband, it happens during the day, easily and discreetly for them, that even in the end is not fixed, how little they do and how much the woman does.
When you say in the evening that the husband, for example, needs to do something that the child will do something, that is, talk about specific actions (remove, wash, go, etc.), then, in fact, you distribute your female duties among all family members.
Of course, in the beginning, the biggest burden will still be carried by you. But the most important thing in this is that you will talk in the evening - what exactly will you do the next day. And it has a magical effect: when you tell it all, every day or at least every day, the rest of the family sees the amount of work you do. Even if nobody does not do what you asked them to do or tries to do it first, but they don't succeed, go on with it - in time they will want to do it, or at least get used to it.
Every evening, hearing how much work you're going to do the next day, sooner or later everyone else will feel that you just need help and respect for your work. So do not ignore this method, use it, and you will see the result.
Let us recall once again all three ways to change the husband's attitude to household chores in the family:
- Talk about your feelings and your difficulties, not in terms of evaluating your behaviour, but only in terms of yourself: what are your feelings, how difficult it is for you. Tell your husband what kind of help you would like from him.
If you have a young family, in the very first few months, in the early years, change the husband's attitude to household issues, saying to him, how would you like to look like your relationship is in the home. - Always have breakfast and dinner at the family table and distribute the duties of dinner service evenly among family members. That is, if you have prepared food, everyone else is already helping you: bringing in, taking away, laying out, and you just sit back and enjoy your time together.
- Plan your homework clearly for the next day and assign family responsibilities. It is very important to make your family aware of what you do every day and at least a little bit of the burden on the rest of the family. Over time, they will see how hard you work and will want to help you.
That's the kind of advice I wanted to share with you today. I hope they will help you and you will be with your husband and the rest of your family to do household chores together.
Happiness, health, and success for your family!