There are different types of thoughts and patterns that prevent women to leave their loneliness. Let's describe some of them.
Accepted: "I never meet anybody"
What's following this? It's true - she doesn't meet anybody. And she does not risk anything. She prefers to admit defeat without even starting to fight, and does not want to deal with potential dangers of acquaintance. Rejection, like armor, protects her from a complete lack of self-confidence. Her self-esteem is close to zero.
What kind of mother hides behind this continuous self-abasement? Most likely, she still regularly says to her adult daughter: "You could have met someone if only you had lost weight (stopped short haircuts, was more feminine, communicated more and had fun)" and which starts with the words "My poor girl" in two out of three phrases.
A trembling mother: "My children will never agree to this"
What's following this? Covering herself with children's interests, she refuses to enter into a new relationship and hides her fear of a new meeting. She has a resemblance to Undertretched and Sister of Charity: for her to be a mother of some kind of alibi, allowing her not to be a woman.
How to overcome her fear? Fighting against her good intentions and maternal duty.
Independent: "I love my freedom too much"
What's behind this? She works a lot, does sports, runs through exhibitions and concerts, meets her friends, she doesn't have a minute. She solves the problem from the wrong end: her life is not overloaded, and she fills it to the brim so that the man could not find a place.
How to overcome your fear? Realize that the relationship between a woman and a man - not a force confrontation, learning to say "no".
Romantic: "I'm waiting for the prince"
What's behind this? The romantic person never grew up. She is stuck at the stage of children's faith in their omnipotence when it seems that you can get everything you want. She can be an amazing, brilliant, successful woman, to understand a lot of questions from different areas, but it turns out to be completely blind, facing the reality of feelings.
She masks her fears with all the attributes of romance and lives in total denial of everyday life. But waiting can be long because if she does not go towards the man, the man will not go towards her. In any case, until she accepts the fact that the Prince will inevitably turn out to be an ordinary man, with his weaknesses and shortcomings as, however, and she.
How to overcome your fear? Looking into the truth: either go to the movies alone or chat on a dating site.
Suffering: "I don't want any more pain"
What's behind this? She has lost a man who has died or abandoned her, or she has abandoned him, but in any case, love is now associated with suffering. Or, on the contrary, she can't forget the amazing love story.
One way or another, she has not been able to accept and experience her experience. Being a victim, she is not able to manage her life and is not ready for new impressions and meetings. Fascinated by her former love, she refuses to have a new relationship, so as not to break the bond with her former lover. She is lonely, but she is not alone.
How to overcome her fear? Dealing with her unsuccessful novels. Acknowledging her share of responsibility for these failures.
Sister of Charity: "I only come across losers"
What's behind this? The most unpleasant thing is that it is true. But in many ways it is her fault - she thinks that she can only be loved by someone she is useful too. In any situation, she is attracted to a man with a diminished ego, and she tries to heal his narcissistic wound. But their tandem is based on suffering.
Loving her partner, she thinks she loves herself. But her partner turns out to be an energy vampire: he will feed off her as long as she has something to share with him. After that, he will leave her.
This perception of love does not arise without parental influence. Doesn't she hear her mother constantly saying: "I don't understand why you're still alone. Do you have everything to make a man happy? But this is not about love, but about sacrifice.
How to overcome your fear? Regaining the ability to build your own life. Learning to be a slave to a feeling, not another person.
Belligerent: "Men are afraid of me"
What's behind this? Of course, it causes fear in men, this Amazon, strong and confident. And no one notices that inside her crying offended girl. What grief from her childhood is a grown woman trying to help?
Since she refuses to recognize her need to live in a couple, she invests too much in her independence. She wants to build her own life and is convinced that no one is her equal. Someone will say that she is too well settled. She is constantly balancing between two extremes: the feeling of inferiority and superiority.