For everyone to think about.
The worst thing that parents can do for their daughter is to raise her as a "good girl". I'm not talking about being decent, smart or responsible right now. I say good. "Goodness" is a habit to be guided by other people's marks, fear of offending any bastard, aspiration to see the best in every poop. Being good - read, comfortable - is a heavy burden, which many people can not get rid of all their lives.
Good girls are very fond of adults. Teachers in kindergarten, parents, primary school teachers. Tell a good girl to finish the soup or porridge - she eats, choking not to upset adults. And then, in adult life, do not understand where they have excess weight and habit is more than the body needs. She does not hear her body, she is not accustomed to it. I am accustomed to looking into the eyes of a teacher: am I full or not yet?
A good girl does not dare adults. She does not speak rudely to them, and does not even speak equally: she only smiles, gives in, listens to them. And when at the age of 14-15 a grown-up uncle starts to press down on her with a lustful grin, the girl can't even answer - she doesn't have a skill. So he endures in horror, and much more will endure where it is necessary to say firmly and loudly: remove your hands quickly!
A good girl learns on one five. A four for her is a tragedy. Over the years of her studies, she gets so used to being guided by the assessments of others that she continues to live in a nervous state of expectation: how am I being assessed? What do they say about me? Does everyone think I'm good? The girl wants to get an "A" from the world, just like at school. But the adult world is arranged differently, it is austere for praise and generous for the fogs. The girl suffers and drinks sedatives, if not something stronger.
A good girl tries to be comfortable for others, the most comfortable, more convenient than the worn slippers. She pleases, cares for, sacrifices herself. But the victims are often not only not appreciated, but also considered a sign of weakness. And use them, not shy of what to say here. How many good, decent girls, brought up in the ideals of sacrifice, get husbands of idlers, lazybones and alphas. And they do not hesitate to ride on their wives, and also chase them with a whip.
A good girl is accustomed to endure. Do not distract adults from their important business with their trifling problems. It is obedient to wait for her to be noticed. She gets so used to endure that it becomes her second nature, the way of life - to find suffering even where it is not there. Even the sofa can't buy a new girl for years, just can't see how her back and neck are whining from the uncomfortable place to sleep. Just got used to suffering as a necessity.
When a young child tries to start something new for him, for example, to climb the stairs on his own, he often looks back at his mother. But he doesn't look at her so she can run up and move him to the next step - as it sometimes seems to his mother. And in order to be sure that he is not alone, that his mother is ready to help him, - and then he can take risks.
The child really wants to act on his own, it increases his self-esteem and his confidence in himself. Every success of his own efforts, which was not initially guaranteed, is a serious victory and a guarantee of further attempts to cope with difficulties on his own.
One of the main tasks of upbringing is the formation of readiness for mastering new skills, for risky, search behavior and familiarization with the pleasure of the process of overcoming it. And for this purpose parents should always be at hand, but they should not be confused under feet.
To have good children is very convenient for adults. Good children, like flowers in pots, placed on window sills, please the eye. But for life to be "good", alas, very bad. From "goodness" then it is necessary to get rid of long and with effort. So it is better that they will not be comfortable. But they will be brave, able to stand up for themselves, knowing their desires, needs, and boundaries. Let them get used to evaluating themselves, not looking into the eyes of teachers. If necessary, let them be rude and give up. Let them not be good. Let them be happy...