You're talking nonsense about his mysterious duality. He doesn't have any ambivalence, and he doesn't have a trace. He is a practical and cold man. They are so cold - and the masters bring women to madness, it is known. And all his theory of free love is invented for a single purpose - not to get married, so that no one prevents him from enjoying life. I give you my head to cut off that he did not go to St. Petersburg, because in Kazan he has a different one, and he did not want to part with it on the saints.
About the fact that all this "building, invented by his head, not his heart", and that one day it "will collapse" - beautiful, Lizochka, but vaguely, vaguely! Why will it collapse? Nothing will collapse! And you write to the gibberish that he is "capable of an unexpected step". How can you wait? He has these unexpected steps in advance calculated to the accuracy of one top.
And then, I'm sorry, but it does not fit into the consciousness. You write: "I have long been irreparably offended not by Karnovsky, but by myself, my pathetic attempts to keep him. It is simply incomprehensible to me! Who tells you to insult yourself? Was the light with a wedge or something on your Karnovsky? I broke up with him - and thank God. And put him out of your mind, I beg you. And don't be angry with me for being straightforward, otherwise I can't.
Now about Dmitry. I don't know much about it, you kindly showed it to me twice. But that's enough to tell me that he loves you. And not only does he love you, but he is devoted with all his soul. And you are in love with him, please don't be surprised! Otherwise, then in Karnovsky, but in love, in love! I'm judging by your conversations, I'm judging by your real, not invented soulful intimacy. You told with delight about him.
I have a cursory impression of him, but I liked him very much, very much. Modest, well-mannered, attentive and does not climb with his scholarship, and all explains calmly and simply. You have common interests, you said yourself that acquaintance with him helps you understand art, Byzantium, etc. As you know, I don't know much about these things, but since you've done something stupid and quit math, it's Dmitry who will help you get out into the world.
Of course, it's very likely that you won't stop fooling around in your marriage. So fool yourself to your health! Don't let him do it, but the fools themselves, since you have such a character. But in general, decide, Lizochka. You are not a girl anymore, remember! Decide before he, like Podkolesin, jumps out of the window.
I kiss you. Write. Your Shura.
I was wondering about you yesterday, and the King of Diamonds came out on the heart.
His mother walked with her lips pressed, and the elder brother quarreled with him, and yet Kostya insisted on his own. Private attorney Fomin, for whom he began to work, taking the calculation at the factory, offered him a table, an apartment and ten rubles a month to pay teachers. Kostya decided to give him an external student for five classes at the gymnasium.
At the push-pull, at Bolshaya Prolomnaya, in the family, at the factory, life was open, roughly open, straightforward. Now she turned to him the other side - cleaned up, fake eloquent. From morning till evening he was engaged in what helped Fomin to give her the appearance of decency, decency, compliance with the law. He learned to distinguish between false witnesses by rank, corresponding to the payment - professional and hired in case. Bribes were taken by almost everyone, starting with the chairman of the courtroom, but there were superiors who refused to take them directly into their hands, but only through relatives or acquaintances.
When it turned out that the lawyer was a drunk drunkard, and not a quiet, but a blissful one, composing a drama, Kostya realized that nothing would happen - neither preparation for the gymnasium, nor the gymnasium itself, nor the university, of which he dared to dream. Suddenly, all petitions, complaints and acts came from the table, and visitors knocked in vain at the apartment. Lexandra, Fomin's older brother, replied, "that their nobility, Mr. college secretary in departure," and Mr. college secretary in pants and shoes on his barefoot, a small, inspired, with a potato nose and slapping lips, went from corner to corner and dictated the drama of the Costa "In the golden web of Moscow".
It began with an endless conversation between the janitor and the cook about the mistress Amalia Karlovna, who spent the night with a certain owner of furniture and mirror shops.
Further business did not go, with each new singing the author returned to the beginning, though he said that if he managed to finish the play, it would have been a hell of a success.
Zapoya ran out, the work resumed - and not three or four hours a day, as agreed, but from morning to evening. The ten roubles (money) promised for training at the gymnasium were out of the question.
To be continued...