The control of one's own shortcomings in emotional interaction must be constant and conscious. This can be compared to driving a car. If you drive "on autopilot" without paying attention to instrument sensors and rear-view mirrors, it can lead to a disaster. It takes special effort and work to keep your relationship happy.
Relationship problems cannot be solved by accusing or trying to point out your partner's shortcomings. It is unacceptable to accuse a loved one of being too demanding, selfish, proud, mean, or afraid of intimacy. In general, do not focus only on the shortcomings, it automatically sets people against you. Most often, people tend to explain the problems in their relationship to the shortcomings of character in the partner, not the lack of ability to interact and adjust their emotions. Instead of being a single team, partners often look at each other as opponents, if not enemies.
The law of happiness in love is actually very simple - you cannot be happy in love without being compassionate and kind.
Lack of love and care can destroy even the strongest union. Relationships cannot survive without compassion, and they cannot thrive without kindness. Compassion, sympathy for the pain of a loved one, support to help alleviate pain, hardship or discomfort are the key foundations of a successful marriage. Kindness is a concern for the well-being and happiness of a partner, a desire to help them be healthy and happy. On the contrary, his or her life can destroy one of the greatest joys of love: the ability to do something to please his or her partner. You can often hear such statements from people:
"I used to love giving her flowers, but now she's expecting it all the time.
"I used to love to cook for him, but now he thinks it's my responsibility.
Many partners are afraid to show compassion and kindness because they don't want to complicate their lives. But if you don't give a person anything emotionally, there's nothing to expect from him. In a relationship, only those who value and respect the rights and privileges of their partner can defend their rights and privileges. Relationships should be equal - nobody tries to take the main place, but also nobody allows to violate their rights. A sympathetic understanding of yourself and your partner is the quickest way to find common ground.
There is a clear relationship between honey and shame. We are afraid of romance because we don't want to look sentimental, vulnerable and funny, we are afraid of honesty so that we don't have to face the partner in a disadvantageous light. But you can't hide behind a mask of ideal qualities all the time, you need to let your partner see you as you really are - not a superhero movie or an ideal woman, but a simple man with all his weaknesses. So the partner can really understand you. Only openness and trust are successful relationships built. support?
We all think differently, and we look at the world differently. But thanks to sympathy and mutual understanding, we can understand the needs and inner world of the person who lives next to you. For example, sighted people whose brains are designed for visual images of perception, can not look at the world the same way as those who were born blind and whose brains perceive the world differently. But we can feel compassion and admiration for how they adapt to the world built for the sighted. And they can feel the same about us. Compassion makes it easier to support your loved ones. Without it, the desire to support becomes a manipulation or an attempt to control everything, and our "negotiations" take the form of ultimatums: "You have to be more... You have to look at these things differently... I would like us to think the same...", etc. Would you like such ultimatums yourself? I don't think so. A conversation with a loved one should not be based on selfish requirements, but on a sincere desire to understand him or her. And then you will certainly succeed!
