The trick was that the researchers made the task so difficult that all participants were doomed to failure. One group felt a very strong sense of failure because their skills were imperfect and they did not improve them with the task at hand.
The second group, however, saw each failure as a learning opportunity, and they progressed to higher levels each time they tried to accomplish the task. The second group even assessed themselves more confidently than the first group. Just like the participants in Bandura's research, we can look at our failures as a reflection of our abilities or opportunities for growth. The next time you catch yourself in the sense that you feel sorry for yourself, focus on what you can really control: your attitude towards your failures.
Some of the best lessons in life are hard, it helps to take the right attitude to life. These are the lessons, but they challenge your flexibility and readiness to learn.
The first step is always the hardest. If you want to achieve something important, the first step will inevitably be difficult, even terrible. When you decide to take this first step, the anxiety and fear will be dispelled in the name of the action. People who dive with their heads into this cruel game of life with failures are no stronger than the rest of us. They just learned that life and defeat in it gives great results. They know that pain at the beginning of the work on themselves and their failures is inevitable and that delay only prolongs their suffering.
Good things take time. Success requires time and effort above all. The author Malcolm Gladwell suggested that mastery of something either requires 10,000 hours of tireless work. Many successful people will agree with this. Consider Henry Ford, whose first two automotive companies failed before he founded Ford at the age of 45, or the author Harry Bernstein, who devoted his entire life to writing books before he finally became a bestseller at the age of 96. When you finally succeed, you will realize that this journey was the best part of your life. And you need to work on yourself first. A simple example is that you know your partner's shortcomings well and can list them without hesitation? And now list your own shortcomings in the relationship. It turned out to be not so easy? So, perhaps, you tend to blame your partner, not yourself, for the problems that arise.
You know perfectly well how your partner looks and behaves when you quarrel. But you hardly think, at least not at that moment, about how you look and behave in response to your partner's anger or shouting. But he sees and notices your behavior well, and so with the same ease could have listed your own shortcomings.
Of course, sometimes your other half can be wrong or unfair. But even if it happens, you can change things for the better. You should not "attack" your partner in response, but try to put yourself in his place and understand why it happens.
You need to define your own shortcomings and weaknesses in behavior. It is absolutely necessary to learn to control yourself and to maintain your relationship. For example, if you are too fiery, try to keep yourself under control, and if something irritates you, it is better to leave the room and give yourself time to calm down, instead of throwing out negative emotions on it. Talk to your spouse more often. Share your feelings with them. They need to know how much it means to you and how much you love them. So try to focus exclusively on the partner when he talks to you, not on himself. So you will be able to give him the respect and attention he certainly deserves.
The best strategy to overcome your shortcomings is to use your partner's reactions as a help, as a kind of indicator. Watch his facial expressions and expressions2 when you talk about something important. This way, you can see what emotions your other half is experiencing right now. If you think your partner is not giving you enough compassion and care, ask yourself if you are showing enough compassion and care at this point. If you think your spouse is selfish, think about whether your own desires are selfish or not. (continuation follows...) https://zen.yandex.ru/profile/editor/id/5d7fbd7a97b5d400aef95972
