The old saying: "The neighbor's donkey is dead. I don't care about my neighbor or donkey, but I still like it! No, it's not jealousy yet, but it's quite an established petty gloat.
And the point is not that we are pleased with the failures of our neighbor. As it was said, there is no interest in him, actually. But here's the trick: the reduced number of donkeys in the neighbor's stable is a clear proof that the neighbor, it turns out, how much worse it copes with the main task - survival.
The neighbor survives worse! And it is not this fact that makes us happy, but the fact that against his background, his own affairs seem to be much more important. All the more so because they are their own donkeys. And now let's imagine that the neighborhood donkey is not thinking about dying. Moreover, it has miraculously multiplied, and now the neighbor has a whole herd of donkeys. Yes, and the neighbor got the nerve and gave you a donkey. So to say, from the bar's shoulder. Because he has a herd of donkeys, and you have a pathetic pair of donkeys. So he was generous. It was friendly, by the way, neighborly. What emotions will arise in such a situation?
It would seem that everything should begin and end with gratitude. In the end, the neighbor was not obliged to give a donkey, and as for the presence of his entire flock - so it is his personal, neighborly, business. But here is the human imperfection! Instead of or together with gratitude there is a very unpleasant feeling. For example, the desire to stifle the whole herd of donkeys in the neighborhood. Or re-interpret. Or burn the stable. Or... In general, to shit on a neighbor somehow. Though, pay attention, this neighbor did not do anything wrong and did not even wish.
But here it is, the feeling of envy. And it is not a herd of donkeys that causes it, but the fact that the neighbor with better survival. That is, the legs still grow from the same place where we started: when the neighbor dies donkey, then with all the indifference to the unhappy fallen animal, there is a warm pleasant feeling. Because the neighbor's donkey died, not its own. Because if the neighbor's donkey dies, the neighbor survives worse. But if he has a whole herd, and his stable is empty, it means that we have something bad with the survival of the case. There is a reason for envy!
Such a situation is brilliantly described by Alexander Green in "The Enchanting Story". Three friends go to the mountains for gold. The first one goes off the course at the beginning, frightened by the possible dangers. The second comes to the foot of the mountains, but remains a worker on the farm, seduced by the calmness of the farm life and fascinated by the farmer's daughter. And only the third one goes on to the end. He returns with a bag full of gold, and the farmer claims that his friend betrayed him by leaving him on the farm, and now the friend is a millionaire, and he remains poor. Then a friend, rich at the cost of terrible deprivations, gives him a glass of golden sand. Instead, instead of thanking him, he gets a note calling him greedy and treacherous, because from his great wealth - generously paid for by health and torment - he has allocated only a "pathetic part"! Giotto di Bondone, "Jealousy"
Characteristically, the hero Green, jealous of a rich friend, goes to his relative, with whom he hopes to get rich, too, and much more than a friend. That is, he is going to demonstrate better survival skills than the one that has overcome all the horrors and dangers, mining gold in the mountains.
In the psychology of the relationship is much more interesting than that: most people who want to poison the neighbor's herd of donkeys, immediately rush to the rescue of this neighbor, if he suddenly loses his donkey's wealth. For example, if the donkeys rest on their own. And the helpers will be completely sincere and sympathetic to the neighbor from the bottom of their heart. But all this sympathy and help will be shown only when there will be undeniable evidence that the neighbor survives worse. That's where the way to get rid of envy is buried, which, incidentally, in most of its part is a sense of destructive, destructive to its host, worsening his life in all aspects. To get rid of it, you just need to be sure that your own way of survival is optimal for you. Your own, not someone else's. A neighbor has a herd of donkeys? Let it be! But they need to be cared for. And also - the waste of the herd flavor is much stronger than if we are talking about one donkey. And in general, who needs it, the whole herd, take care of it! It is worth trusting yourself, loving yourself, and do not need to compare yourself with someone else. Everyone has his own herd, his own donkeys. And let it be so. Everyone has his own. And that is exactly what is good. Does it make sense for fishes to envy birds? And vice versa... Be happy and don't look over someone else's fence
Everyone has his own charms in life, his own miracles, his own joys. You have to accept them and be happy, without looking over the neighbor's fence. Moreover, it is very likely that this very neighbor, the lucky owner of a whole herd of donkeys, looks over the fence with envy, admiring a small cozy stable, where there is only one donkey. He admires and sighs with envy, and his heart hurts when he remembers his flock with hatred...