Do you always have to answer well to the good? Why do people get angry when the recipient of the good does not reciprocate? And why does a person who has received help have the confidence that he or she is now obliged to "repay the debt"?
Some experts argue that there is no pure altruism in ordinary society today. Mother Teresa doesn't go to the subway, and Gandhi won't gild everyone in need. Ordinary citizens are used to acting on the principle of "you, me, me, you". This is the established norm of reciprocity. And that's why people get bewildered if someone does a good thing just for fun. And that is why they consider themselves indebted to those who came to the rescue.
Together - power
In a world where charity has become a way to launder money and mutual support is not a corporate value, it is difficult to maintain faith in altruism. However, people continue to believe that together they are a force. They are helped in this:
- Psychologists;
- Physicists and other scientists;
- Consultant coachmen;
- Gestalt therapists;
- Artists, poets, architects, composers, writers.
Different means
They operate in a variety of ways and forms, but share a common message: the world is interdependent. Thus, human soul engineers talk about the psychology of the crowd and the integration of the individual. Physicists and mathematicians, through their calculations, prove that the material world has limits and that it is necessary to join forces to find out what is beyond. Coachers and psychotherapists explain that self-love is a quiet confidence, and a good attitude to one's neighbor does not always require self-denial. Finally, the authors of immortal masterpieces admire our souls, reminding that art is open to everyone and it is completely free of charge.
Me, again and again me?
Very different motifs
Just as the magnificent façade of a house can hide the unsightly truth about its masters, the beautiful words about the benefits to society and the common good can hide very different motives.
It is believed that any exalted impulse of the soul is ultimately aimed at personal gain. This is how the businessman enthusiastically and enthusiastically proves to the municipality the need to open a social pharmacy for pensioners. At the same time, he, of course, defines his benefit, which will bring him a high demand for cheap drugs.
Selfish notes can be heard in the speeches of teachers and doctors, and these are the two professions that imply complete rejection of the "I". Teachers will not fail to warm themselves in the glory of the successful students, and doctors are counting successful operations and brilliantly diagnosed.
Psychologists insist
A number of psychologists insist that the first thing to do is to take care of yourself. No one will come and solve your problems until you get up from the couch and end your depression. And they are right in their own way. But to live a life without doing anything for the good of your neighbor - at least, ordinary.
Indeed, before you rush to the call for help, you should make a sound assessment of the situation. It is foolish to try to save a person from an ice-hole if you do not know how to swim. It is unreasonable to give the poor woman everything she has in her purse if she has nothing to feed her children before her salary.
Eliminate the motive of compassion
In doing so, it is necessary to eliminate the motive of suffering if it is decided to respond to a friend's call. You can help him, but you don't have to take off your last shirt (literally). This pathetic is suitable for a theatrical stage or an art novel. And the prose is such that by taking off this shirt, you either want to feel like a sufferer for the sins of others or feel the mood of the victim. By the way, both of them can be considered selfish - you think not about whether your friend in your shirt is warm, but about how cold it is for you.
Incentive for good deeds
The world would have collapsed if there wasn't a single person in it who could reach out. Day in and day out, we create an endless cycle of benefits:
- We care for children;
- We take care of the elderly;
- We support our fellow countrymen abroad;
- We create strong friendships;
- We get a job and get acquainted with each other and surround ourselves with colleagues from among our friends.
When all personal problems are solved and all possible benefits are received, there comes a natural and quite logical desire to make life easier for strangers. You have already filled your bowl, you know how to do it - so why not help with advice or business to someone who can not cope with it?
Movement of the soul
This movement of the soul is a sign of a self-sufficient and healthy personality. Without thinking about what kind of motivation to attribute his deed, a person helps a blind person to cross the street, gives good advice to a neighbor, reflects on how to please the family. You can talk for a long time about the higher and lower motives, about maturity and underdevelopment of the personality, about personal and collective benefit. And you can just look around and see those who in any situation worry only about themselves and those who can not afford not to think about others.