And don't look that the name is economic, but the content is romantic. It's all shaken up, fights and races, and a little bit of philosophical gum - to make the kiss look sweeter, but why look further? Who wants to criticize his education - so we got the author drunk with random in advance. But whoever is looking for meaning, logic, morality - in the throat of dry chaparral.
Chapter 1
I passed the shift, I took the shift.
On the eve of the Paris Opera House, Populaire held a strange dialogue in the early hours of the morning, more likely even at the distant end of the night, which unfortunately did not have any witnesses.
- You will be sorry, my father! - on the bad French mixed with the excellent Italian diva La Carlotta, the church-keeper is not clear what the guilty clergyman is guilty of.
- And you should go to hell, my daughter! - It was illogical, uneducated, but quite justified that the priest answered her, taking a quick step away in the dawn mist. - You should read less "Exorcism for Dummies" and more - Holy Scripture. And when it seems, one should be baptized. Not before and not after a shot, but instead. Adieu.
- Basta! - slammed herself on Carlotta Guidichelli's thigh. - If it is impossible to do so, then it is possible from the opposite side, no question! But I will know this Ghost, so don't be an eighteen-year-old!
With her natural energy and a tenfold grudge against the Opera Ghost, Carlotta looked for the sorcerer. As she had found no later than noon. The wizard looked worthy: the beard was not brushed, the legs were not washed, the book was periodically moving under the arm, and either snoring or weeping.
- Do you have any diploma?
The magician blew his nose right in the cover and answered with dignity:
- You, madam, are out of line, figuratively speaking. And I know how to drive them away in real life. Do you understand?
- Well, at least the trick would show. Oh, okay. We have a Ghost in the Opera House. Threats, falling objects, blackmail and arbitrariness.
- Typical behavior. A thousand francs.
- No advance payment.
- Okay. Need to belong to a ghost, or otherwise unconscious spirit, a thing. Well, that's who he was when he was alive?
- A bastard.
- Did the bastard have personal property? You can dig a grave, I don't mind. Find me and meet me at seven o'clock in the old abandoned chapel.
Carlotta found a way out: she brought one of her favorite letters and cried! So sorry to part with you.
"If you could hear yourself as I, Signora Guidichelli, heard you, you would have taken a vow of silence and gone to the monastery of men (why should I be the only victim?). And Christine will sing: I see it that way. Get out of my opera, you Italian lahudra!
Eternally your P.O."
And the seal is beautiful, and the perfume smells good. Written respectfully, especially about the monastery. The pity of letters. But to leave the Opera House of Populaire Carlotta and was not going to - there is still a loan for the new necklace is not paid. The ghost is not a wall, you can move it.
Having handed over the letter, the diva brought the sorcerer from the chapel to her dressing room.
- What a cunning one! I want to see the result at once, or you will wash up, or maybe you haven't expelled anyone.
- You are not in the church, you will not be deceived," the sorcerer said. - Shall we begin?
Meanwhile, the premiere of Don Giovanni the Triumphant took place on stage. The piercing violins for "Point of no return" have already entered - passion and blood boiling in veins. Cristina, following her part, couldn't help but admit how good her unexpected partner is in her black mask, Spanish suit and raincoat. It was Phantom, she kept telling herself. A madman, a genius, a murderer, a stalker...
But on stage, she reached out to Don Giovanni - sparkling eyes, deceptively tender smile, soft grace predator.
Climbing up the stairs, penultimate chords - God, give me strength - and a gentle maiden's hand tears off a black flap of a mask, making the room shout out with horror. Then - strange: the crunch of boards under his feet, the flight past all the scenery, the blow to something not too soft.
A coughing strange voice said something in a Latin-like tongue, and the blackout came.
In Carlotta's dressing room, the pentagram's center was filled with spotty smoke, and everyone in the room was coughing.
- Opa-paaaaaa, sorcerer's view was strangely guilty. - We, lady, were hot with you, oh yes!
- Why? - The Italian woman asked, watering the floor with water from a vase.
- And from the ear of the coat! It wasn't a ghost, that's what it turned out to be, but a naturally alive person. Again, I got myself in trouble to punish my life - the spell of exchange!
- I was kicked out and kicked out, didn't I feel sorry for him?
- They didn't kick him out, that's what it was. He is a human being, and the magic formula works only in the order of exchanging a person for a person. If your Phantom went "somewhere", another man would soon fall "somewhere", do I make myself clear?
Carlotta kept silent, then shook her shoulders:
- I wonder what kind of d... can you change our Ghost? Look at your memoir, who will be sent?
- Grimoire, madam. Search Book of spells with a share of pseudo-intelligence. He even has a name. Ludwig, open up, and how will I do it!
Yellow calfskin was twirling the patterns until she put her word together. Sound, but incomprehensible.
- Zorro. Who is it zorro and what are they doing to him?
- I think your savings book sent us the fuck out. Basically, I don't really care if it's not for the ghost who writes the letters, the fiction writer, Dumas-father and Hugo your mother. He's not coming back from there, on his own, hmm?
- Oh, madam, that's very difficult. I'm telling you, the spell of the exchange ruined my life. There are only a hundred conditions. See for yourself. First of all, the displaced people in their new place must do a good, well, good deed, i.e. in the sense of energies to bring benefit to the reality, where they... ...to my imagination... to my imagination... has brought it. Secondly, to make a leap back, it is necessary for the object to be kissed by a girl: the girl is the keyword, without closing her eyes. Marasmus, huh? And at the moment of kissing no stranger should touch neither the girl nor the displaced person. And the most important thing is that this process should take place almost once or twice in two realities. It's easier to teach a rat to keep up! I know, I tried.
The diva calmed down very much.
- Okay. Carlotta is an honest woman, in a certain sense. You did the job. Ubaldo! Are you sleeping there? Pay up!
Carlotta stopped in front of the mirror to fix her makeup - and missed a moment...
"Sir, there's only half the amount... "That's not what we agreed..." "What? What did you say to me, you fat squeaking pig?!
After thoroughly powdering up her shiny nose, the prima turned around because someone pulled her by the dress. There was no one behind her shoulder.
- Wee... - said a big black hog pulling Carlotta's hem. And the brocade vest on it was some kind of familiar... - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
- — У... Ubaldo? - opened her mouth with an Italian woman.
- UIIIIIIIIII.
- What's French for? Is it so hard to say "si, amor mia"?! - Carlotta got used to it - and only then did she realize the scale of the problem. She ran into the room, but the sorcerer disappeared.
"If I don't get drunk, I'll die of a rupture of something, perhaps the brain," thought the prima donna and took a leash from the poodle of an indignant husband and went to the pub.
continuance should be.....