If we talk about flirtation, relationship, love and sex, the workplace is in absolute pole position: but why?
It's the place where we spend most of the day and our colleagues are real life partners. With them we share lies, gossip, joys and sorrows...and even that hint of dangerous malice.
Since the days of the time, when something is "forbidden" it's much more attractive and pleasant: coffee break with mutual glances, meetings where you smile, romantic lunch at the self-service and endless greetings at the car park.
But before reading some testimonials and our advice about it, we specify that the relationship in the workplace, here in Italy, is not absolutely prohibited by law - that's not why we have the right to have unbridled sex in the meeting room, with active camera and skype connection with Japan! Let's keep a bit of reserve...that's it....
"It all started with a simple lunch invitation," says Simona. "I was happily married at the time and certainly didn't think of other men. The problem arose when I realized that Gianluca had some attention to me that no one has ever had in the past, and a way to look at me unparalleled. We were always together, in the same office, eight or nine hours a day. The more extraordinary there was to be, the happier I was. Ours was a clandestine relationship that lasted only a month... Then he was magically transferred to Aosta. Would I do it again? Yes...immediately".
"I didn't want a clandestine relationship, much less in the workplace," says Sandro, "but Cristina got into me like a hurricane. She was beautiful, charming and I couldn't stay away from her. I knew I had a girlfriend, as I knew she was married. Fate wanted us to work on a common project and from that moment on, coffee after coffee, lunch after lunch, an overwhelming passion broke out. Every excuse and every place was perfect to be together. Until we were discovered by one of the supreme leaders as stupid as we were, and then my colleagues, husband and girlfriend gradually learned about it. Cristina now works in another company, very far from me... but I will never stop thinking about her and looking for her. They hadn't discovered us, I think it would never have ended between us.
Two key testimonials, which have a taste of passion and real complicity.
Without emotions, time is just a clock that ticks...
If you really can't do without it (sometimes ruining your career and private life), read our precious and careful advice:
- As we said before, the law does not prohibit clandestine relations in the office, but beware: your boss has the right to dismiss you anyway in case of incorrect behavior or poor performance;
- Gossip aside, if there is a hierarchical relationship between you, lovers and colleagues, you risk running into commonplaces. Credibility would diminish considerably, especially in the case of promotions or increases;
- Leaving and continuing to work together is the most difficult thing: if in the real world you can no longer see each other, in the workplace you must continue to share the famous eight hours a day, in a continuous close contact. If you were looking forward to being with him/her before, after the break your only wish could be to be fired or transferred to Alaska;
- Always in case of quarrel and passion ended, be careful of any "inappropriate behavior": putting in a bad light the colleague in the workplace is not ethically correct;
- Try to see yourself outside the office and away from gossip eyes: it's best to leave meetings in the parking lot or in the stationery room (and you're not fifteen, are you not?);
- Try to understand if it is the beginning of a serious and stable relationship or if it is just passion, making it clear right away, especially to yourself. Commonplaces always lead you to think that: if it's a sex-only story, colleagues will give you unfriendly adjectives for the rest of your life, while if the relationship becomes stable - and it's a love story worthy of a story by Nicholas Sparks - colleagues will love you and share with you basins and hearts.
Don't send yourself e-mails with provocative messages or with topics that are not work-related: the e-mails are checked and - even if deleted - saved by the company server. Santo Whatsapp can save your job (ah...are you married? Your half controls your mobile phone? ...)
The risk of losing one's job, especially in the modern world, due to a passion or a temporary drift, is a distraction that we cannot afford.
Let's try to follow the basic rules and to selfimpose a bit of demeanor.
If possible...