The life of each of us is divided into certain time periods: days, hours, minutes ... There are only 24 hours in a day, some of which we spend on sleep. What our life will be, directly depends on what our time will be busy when we are awake, make decisions, do something that affects the next days of our life. Each of our thoughts, each of our conditions, whether we like it or not, has an impact on our reality. They either propel us forward toward our goals and dreams, or impede this advancement, or even pull us back. Anger, resentment, revenge - all these are negative states and desires that bring to the one who is experiencing them, much more harm than what caused them than to those to whom they are directed.
How to get rid of resentment, from the desire to take revenge? It is easy to say: "just do not be offended and everything will be fine." But such advice is not able to really change something. No matter how much you say to another: “don’t be offended”, no matter how much you convince yourself that you don’t need to be offended, there is absolutely no effect from this. By reason, we can understand that revenge and resentment are states and desires that are best avoided, but as soon as a “successful” situation arises, the arguments of reason evaporate somewhere. Something inside us is getting heavier, filled with resentment, something asks for revenge ...
Not everyone is able to experience this. But those who can remember the grievances all their lives, sort through them in their memory as attractive and dangerous fragments of broken mirrors, the sharp edges of which are not able to smooth out the waves of time. He imagines a triumphant moment of revenge on the offender, even if several tens of years can pass between what has offended and this very “moment”. But then that time, those spiritual forces that the offended spend on memories and on bearing vindictive plans, this is an irreplaceable resource of their world. Instead of building their life, their future at this time, these people get stuck in the past, lose the invaluable “now” in the web of past insults.
However, both offenses and the desire for revenge can be fought. Moreover, to fight effectively, not at the level of persuasion, but at the level of real results. In order to get to the core of the technique that I have in mind, let’s see, for starters, how one who is capable of experiencing feelings of resentment perceives it. He perceives it as a certain fundamental feature of his character. The subconscious causes of resentment, like other subconscious phenomena, are hidden from people. Without special efforts, they cannot be opened, and without this disclosure, they remain “black boxes” full of mysterious mechanisms whose work cannot be tuned.
In addition, people tend to perceive the world exclusively through themselves. And they automatically endow in their perception, the rest of the people with the ability to be offended, which means they expect that all the other people “will be fair to them” and will not create an offensive situation. “After all, they understand how I’ll be offended, how bad I will feel, how I want to take revenge on them later,” people who are able to take offense think of others. And many of these “others” have feelings of resentment, revenge - they are simply unfamiliar. Actually, the systemic vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows you to accurately answer the question of which people are capable of experiencing resentment. These are the owners of the anal vector.
From nature, they are given such internal, subconscious properties and characteristics that determine their ability to be offended by others. These properties give them, in addition, a special attitude to the concept of justice, a special perception of the world. When “justice” is not respected in their respect, resentment does not take long. Moreover, such people are distinguished by a particularly tenacious and strong memory. This is also one of their properties, which does not allow them to forget insults, thanks to which they are capable of carrying out revenge plans for years. But, I repeat, in a day only 24 hours. Therefore, all the time that is spent on living long past offensive situations is deleted from life, takes energy, strength. In addition, these people are naturally oriented towards the past. It has a greater value in their perception than the present, and especially the future. When they have a worthy (in accordance with their perception of reality) reason for constant immersion in the past, such “immersions” can completely throw them out of real life. And the bad experience of the past days is automatically transferred by them to the possible experience of the present, and instead of doing something, they, paralyzed by resentment, miss the present. We are talking about any phenomena and events - from the search for work by a person who was “unfairly” fired, to the search for a companion or partner in life by a person whose relationship once “unfairly” broke up, and, of course, through the fault of the other side (that is, in his perception, “all men are ...”, or “all women are ...”). If we add here the desire to take revenge and thoroughly, delightfully thinking over the triumphal plans for revenge, if we add here the expectation that “offenders still crawl” characteristic of such states, we can say with confidence that life for such an offended person simply stops.
As a result, it turns out that a person prone to insults, not having effective ways of working with his negative states, taking offense at others, actually takes revenge on himself. The consequences of resentment, therefore, are too severe to leave this problem unattended.
Having considered the features of the problems that revenge and resentment threaten those who are inclined to them, we can talk about the method of working with these conditions. It is surprisingly simple and effective. Its essence lies in a deep systemic awareness by a person who is offended by their own natural features.
The first effect of such awareness removes stress from the problem. When the tension is removed, memories of resentment lose their former sharpness and brightness. They no longer occupy a central place in human consciousness, they retreat to the periphery, and ideally, they are forgotten. In addition, when a person begins to deeply understand himself, sees how certain events respond in him, understands why he experiences certain feelings, he receives a means to control these feelings.
In practice, this is expressed in the fact that resentment does not injure a person as painfully as before. Vengeance plans are no longer his main “plans for the future." He has real plans and a real future.