As a senior primate, and gregarious, how to communicate has become a very important issue.
Nicky Stanton wrote in his book The communication Bible: "we communicate all the time. That is, do not use language, does not mean that communication does not exist.”
You inadvertently an expression, action or your dress, are invisible in and around the formation of communication, not to mention you usually speak or write the text.
Communication also plays a pivotal role in our lives. When you are a student, you may attend a variety of entrance interviews or cadres campaign; after entering the community, you want to find a job, and interview officer to communicate, enter the workplace to communicate with colleagues; slowly you have to form your own circle of friends, and their own friends to communicate; in their own personal life, to catch up with sometimes, even the expression or reaction is not in place, but also cause unnecessary misunderstanding.
This is no hole into our life communication, it can be said to largely determine our life happiness and career height and how much money earned.But there are very few people who are really good at communication. fortunately, communication can be learned through effort.
So how do we communicate effectively? How can I learn to communicate?
The British writer Nicky Stanton (Nicky Stanton) book of the Bible from the basic idea of communication, communication in reality and the workplace application and how to improve the speed of written reading and writing skills of the three directions guide the full range of communication skills.
The book is called“the Bible " because it is a detailed and comprehensive description of the various skills and considerations of communication, both theoretical knowledge, but also from the practical, from the phone, talk, speech, interview, Mail reading, and visual communication to provide dry cargo knowledge in all aspects, to help you overcome the self-development and career development on the road.
Nicky Stanton, author of the communication Bible, is an outstanding consultant in Management, Communication, Business English, and Team Development.
Next, I will introduce the knowledge in the book from the basic communication concept, the application of communication in reality and the promotion of reading efficiency in three directions.
I. basic communication concept
To achieve effective communication, first, to understand the goal of communication, the author Nikki * Stanton proposed four goals of communication: to be received, to be understood, to be accepted and to make each other to act.
When we are in communication, we often because of the feelings of the two sides are different, lack of interest or related knowledge, resulting in communication is not efficient. When we are in some very important communication, the author suggests that we do something in advance.
Seven steps to plan communication：
- 1, Write down the purpose of communication, to avoid digressions
- 2. collect important information related to the topic
- 3, The Collected Information Classification, the same content together, to support a point of view
- 4, the content in a logical order
- 5. write an outline
- 6. first draft
- 7. editing the first draft and the final draft
The two most convenient ways of communicating are talking and listening.In speaking, it is also important to be empathetic and sincere, in addition to keeping basic words correct and clear. According to neuro-linguistic programming, if the speaker can imitate the other person's tone, content, or even body language, the recipient will have a sense of understanding, making it easier to accept the speaker's ideas.
In addition, the speaker should pay attention to their appearance and posture when talking, decent clothes and clean appearance will give you extra points, empathy, is your instinct will also reject those dressed in the speech; bad posture may make you feel that you do not pay attention, but also affect the posture of the voice.
The key to communication is listening, not speaking. But sadly, the results show that people can remember only 50 percent of what they hear after hearing someone else's words, and only 25 percent of what they remember two months later.
To introduce you to several effective ways to improve listening：
- ready to listen:you can access some relevant information, the accumulation of relevant knowledge
- interest: find the part of your interest in the information expressed by the speaker or show the way of interest
- be open-minded: don't be prejudiced against the speaker and the things he says;don't draw conclusions too soon
- Learn to distinguish between facts, examples, evidence, and reasons
- critical listening: be critical and skeptical of the speaker's views
- avoid distractions
- take notes
- respond: use a short statement to positively echo the speaker
Second, the application of communication in reality
In the communication Bible, author Nicky Stanton teaches you how to communicate well in workplace communication applications such as phone calls, interviews, job interviews, team communication, hosting meetings, and speaking engagements.Because of the limited space, I will focus on the two forms of communication that we use in the workplace and in our daily lives, such as phone calls and job interviews.
First said the phone, I saw that there are some small partners on the watercress who seems to call this thing disapproval, even feel such a simple thing to write in the book. But on the contrary, telephone communication is very important,in many cases in the workplace, we can not interview, we can only rely on telephone communication.
I remember when I was in college my first internship was to do a marketing intern in a magazine. If you're not good at calling and inviting people to events, what else do you do?
Calling skills
Before calling: to determine the purpose of your call and important questions; need to use the information prepared in advance; prepare a white paper can take notes
When talking on the phone: long story short; concise indicate your problem; occasionally pause, make sure the other person to understand; from time to time to summarize what you just said; keep polite;do not promise for others; will usually face to face conversation in the”nod "replaced words" Good, understand " or "I understand"; if there is a need to convey the content,
After the call: to replenish the complete notes; the results of the call to the relevant person.
The other thing to say is that you want to learn job interview, the author Nicky Stanton in this section of the communication Bible, mainly expounds the interview skills.
Don't be too nervous: everyone is nervous before the interview, so nervous is normal, the interviewer may also be as nervous as you；
Understand the company: understand the company has two methods, one is the interview before the query through the network and other channels, the other is not found but you feel very important questions recorded, to ask the interview together. Don't worry about the interview when holding a small note is very strange, instead, the interviewer will feel that this is seriously preparing for the interview.
What should we do about the company? the author lists some of the questions in the book for reference：
- Many job seekers are embarrassed to ask salary, but the salary is a question that must be asked. If you feel embarrassed, suggest that you can put some of the salary and welfare and learning opportunities together, it will not be awkward.
- Understand your strengths and weaknesses: in an interview, be positive about your strengths and use specific examples to illustrate those strengths, otherwise, it will be empty like bragging. If it is their weaknesses, you can find ways to cover up with strengths. For example, when asked if the personality is tough, you can use the word “decisive” instead of“tough” to describe yourself. In fact, many times the interviewer is not to ask you an answer, just want to see how you answer