The character of a person, his attitude to himself, to people and work is formed, first of all, under the influence of loved one. And the genes in our children are from dad and from mom. And we choose the father and mother for our child. Therefore, I always tell patients: "If you want to see the cause of your misfortunes, go to the mirror." But honestly looking and appreciating yourself is difficult. For example, one mother tells me: “I raise my son so that he grows up happy, successful, hardworking, self-confident - in general, a real man!” “And you yourself are happy?” - “No”. “Successful?” Are you sure of yourself - “No” On top of everything, it turned out that she lives with an alcoholic. The woman, like a draft horse, harnessed herself to the family "cart", on which an unemployed, always drunk husband and children, taking an example, were sitting, dragging her alone, in dreams of a bright future.
The woman does not understand that she cannot reach any bright "paradise". If she gets sick, family members, instead of sympathy, figuratively speaking, will whip her - there’s nothing to stand idle, move on! The worst thing in this situation is that she is unhappy and does not want another life - because then she will lose the feeling of her significance. In your heart, imagine, she is proud of her heroic suffering, she is also sympathetic to her friends, who are driven away by life. And so, such a woman, often suffering from depression, scandals, and even husband's fists, is sure that she will teach children to be happy and successful.
But words are taught only when they have a worthy example before their eyes. An eternally irritated mother, in the role of a cook and dishwasher, and dad, wallowing with beer on the couch or showering his wife with reproaches, cannot be authorities for the child. Where do these children find authority? On the street. And these are not always the most worthy people.
The character is formed by 5-7 years, then it is polished, sharpening some of the qualities and dulling of others. After 5-7 years, only one person in the world can be changed. Guess who? Myself. But our children are not in a hurry to change themselves, the notations of parents, teachers fly into one ear, and fly out from the other. Indeed, from poor study of food on their plate does not get smaller, jeans or dress, computer, cell phone, gold jewelry bought by parents do not evaporate.
A person, as a rule, begins to think about his behavior only when his life punishes him, and not his mom and dad. We try to protect our children from any difficulties, doing school tasks for them first, then to evade from the army or advantageously attaching a marriage, we are looking for a prestigious job for them. But all this does not make them happy.
They learn not words, but an example. It’s ridiculous to tell your son or daughter about the dangers of smoking with a cigarette in your mouth or about the benefits of playing sports when your best friend is TV. Start with yourself. Stop being a tyrant or servant for children. They hate tyrants, despise servants. Stop whining, scolding fate and others. And your child will grow up being cheerful. If you are more interested in chatting with friends for hours than spending time with children, then do not be surprised that your children are more interested in being in the virtual world of the Internet than with you. Children should see how their parents hug and kiss each other, rather than throwing plates, cursing the day they met. In general, if you want happiness for your child, become happy yourself, and he will copy you.
These tips will help improve your life:
1. You need to accept people as they are, or not to accept at all.
Because changing them is almost impossible. Really. If you try to remake them and make them the way you want to see them, all you have to do is wish good luck. Since this idea is doomed to failure.
2. Your definition of happiness is different from that of other people.
What works for you does not have to work for them. You are not a justice of the peace to judge your life decisions made by your friends. As they say in one well-known biblical postulate: “Do not judge, let not you be judged.”
3. You must be able to stand up for themselves.
The world is full of villains who strive to seize superiority over you. No one can afford to be defenseless. You will have to learn to be stubborn and intrusive (in moderation, of course) to get what you want.
4. Today they adore you, and tomorrow they don’t.
Man is a fickle creature. We go to bed in love, and wake up with a sense of betrayal. Sometimes breaking up can mean nothing to you. And sometimes it’s a whole tragedy. In any case, after breaking up, getting depressed about your unattractiveness and looking for your own flaws is a waste of time. You will have many more chances to fall in love! The only obstacle in your path is your own fear of a new relationship.
5. You do not have to be close to all members of your family. If any communication with the family is poisoning your life, it is in your interests to establish certain boundaries of such communication as soon as possible.
6. If you buy a piece of clothing that does not fit your size, but you intend to use it as an incentive for losing weight, you will never wear it.
7. Constant remorse and guilt about doing evil deeds - only once again prove that you will do them again and again.
8. Stop envy of people who are more successful at your age than you. Direct this energy to achieve your goals.
9. Self-esteem is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. But finding it is much more difficult.
10. If you caught yourself thinking that you are constantly losing your job, friends, important relationships and connections, it may be time to admit that you yourself are the root of all problems ?!
11. You do not owe anything to anyone.
If you think otherwise, you will be constantly unhappy and unhappy with life.
12. To achieve something in this life, you must work hard and even work hard.
If you want to know the answer to the question: “Why I do not have what I want,” you should study your work habits and your way of working.
13. Moving to another city does not save you from all misfortunes.
At least in most cases.
14. Talking nonsense from time to time or a little trick sometimes is normal.
15. Who does not take risks, does not drink champagne!
If you understand that your work has bothered you, just quire. Unleash your inner self!
16. Do not pump alcohol on an empty stomach. If you don’t want to look mega-silly, of course ...
17. There is no such thing as enjoying pleasure from guilt.
Many, without suspecting it, like to torment themselves and once again suffer. This is not healthy.
18. Sometimes it is better to do something first, you always have time to apologize.
19. We must be able to stop in time. For example, leave the party on time.
Because after 4 in the morning, usually nothing good happens. Everyone knows the feeling when you want to continue to have fun more and more. Know how to leave at the peak. If you hesitate, all the fun will go down the drain.