Parents who have"intimate"relationships with their children have often abandoned their children completely, leaving them unable to develop healthily, psychologically or physically. For the sake of the child, you have to consciously"stay away"from the child.
If the child is 5 years old and has a bed with you, and has to squeeze a bed with you, then it is time for him to leave.How to sleep, which hides important signals of family relationships. If you regularly sleep three people in your bed, or simply a father giving way to a child, sleeping on the sofa yourself, this may indicate that your family relationship is more confusing. Dad's lack of proper position in the home, then he naturally difficult to cast out the power and function of dad. Of course, this is more suggestive of the child with the mother too entangled, too intimate-if a child does not want to be separated from the mother, is to sleep in a bed with his mother, he is not able to"stand up". So, step one: let the child sleep in his own bed as soon as possible, instead of sticking to the mother's bed.If it is difficult for you to get your child from your bed to his own bed, this may have been a reminder that your relationship with your child is too"near" before, and that you need to consciously distance yourself from it.
Give the child space, do not put it the whole "full" .
- To"love" under the banner, trampling the child's heart. Is it really your kids ' room? If it is in accordance with your wishes; if the child is dirty point will be reprimanded; if the child can not invite children to play, because the mother likes neat and clean. So, the child looks like a room, in fact, there is no own space. A friend said she saw a mother, asked the child to eat what today at noon, the child said Pizza, mom said, Pizza is delicious, we eat fish head bubble cake, do not give the child any chance to make a decision, what for the child to decide. Also, the mother always thinking to help children, such as children to grab toys, mom quickly said, Don't grab don't grab, mother to buy you a; for fear of children suffer, anxious to instill the child how to flatter, anxious to recruit how to overcome the children deprive the child himself the opportunity to solve the problem.The children all the time in full row, to the children of various classes: painting classes, swimming classes, piano classes, storytelling classes, thinking training classes for fear of children abandoned the time, do not give the child blank, do not give the child time and space to find their own interests .Also, do not allow the child's seemingly unpromising interest: play mud, pick up sticks, rain, laugh for no reason. If you are also a mother, then, your child is full of"Mother", the child does not have their own time and space. Adults often unconsciously force children, imperceptibly, we under the banner of"love", to"good for the child" name, wanton trampling the child's heart.
- Rough pressure "success to abolish" children if the child's resistance can make us sober, see our self-righteousness is actually disrupting and disrupting the growth of children, quickly adjust and change our attitude and the way we treat children, we become parents on the level of an increase. The extreme situation is:if we firmly believe that the child "disobedience", "bad", and even think that the child has a problem, more forced and rough pressure, so that the child to do according to our requirements, the"obedient" child, may really be destroyed by the mother.He gave himself up for his mother!
The price is that he has no self, and no ability to take responsibility for his own life. I can't remember what the master said, but it is the absolute truth: the child grew up in a place where we could not see. Give the child space, means that we have to tell the child you and me, respect the child's heart, respect the child's space, do not disturb the child's development! When it comes to"far away," you have to have something in life other than a child. You can't put the fun, the meaning and the value of life all in on being a mom. If you have nothing else to do but have children, if you have nothing else to do besides being a mother, you simply can't do"far away."
To be continued ... https://zen.yandex.ru/profile/editor/id/5d9374e374f1bc00ae987967/5d950735e3062c00b016c843/edit