In a dream, Pauline always counts to ten, and then the cold water gets in her mouth.
She is still able to breathe through her nose without any discomfort. Once again, she counts to ten in silence, and then she takes her breath away. Pauline can't shout, and when she tries to get out on land, she can't do anything. Then the voices come. She knows them - they've been playing in the cold basement for several years now. The words are the same.
"Become one of us. "Surrender. "Give us your strength.
Everything ends with birds chirping. The thunder suddenly disappears, and the river returns to its still calm state. It is no longer difficult for Pauline to recognize herself in reflection. Tangled hair, torn dress and gray eyes that have nothing but despair. At this point, she wakes up and falls into her own personal hell.
In fact, Pauline hasn't looked in the mirror for a long time, but she can imagine what it looks like. Her thin hands were thinning out, her body turned into a disgusting sight - this happens if for several years in a row there is very little. At night, she suffers from abdominal pain. She puts her fingers on her mouth, squeezes her fingers on the icy floor, and wants it all to stop. She would live a normal life, where there is no magic or disgusting witches dreaming of turning her into a puppet. But this will never happen.
Pauline knows that fear will soon go away. She will no longer be afraid to look at them. And even the sorcerer's big hand hitting Pauline in the face, she won't pay attention. She'll smile, licking her blood from her broken lips, and look only at the guy standing two steps away from her. He'll talk about something again - she's sure. His thin lips are moving in. His face is so frowned upon, looking attentively, but doomed. He will smile. Maybe even laughs. Pauline herself will laugh, bend in half, and after the screaming in the most painful way. Her body will ask her to stop all this, but Pauline can't change anything. However, she always has one possibility.
They promise that the pain will go away. "Help us. Become our friend. They can't be trusted, so she's shaking her head and smiling widely.
They say it will be easier if you just accept their rules. They look, shout and throw themselves at her to scare her, but she only shakes. From the cold. From someone else's warm breath.
Pauline asks to be touched by a stranger. He touched her cheek, hugged her, or at least approached her closer, but he does not move. It's like he's mocking. And even if it isn't, she feels like the sprouts of anger originate in her. Pauline doesn't understand why the guy she invented for herself doesn't see her.
He doesn't show up as often as she wants to. He talks mostly, but not always. Sometimes his gaze is directed to one point - to the wall, to Pauline, to the floor. Except she knows that he doesn't see any of it. A stranger looks at something from his world, and Pauline looks at him, praying that he would ever notice her. But the imaginary image of the savior is too busy to pay attention to her.
Is Pauline funny or sad? She was confused. No one is looking for her, no one is waiting in this terrible world, and even the one she invented doesn't know about Polynin's existence.
How ironic. Or sadly. Everyone needs a Water Witch, but no one needs Pauline.
Somehow she is sure that one day she will leave this house. And it is not because of what will die at their hands. She is not mistaken. She will be rescued. Or she will save herself. She'll just learn how to cast a spell and then destroy the place and kill everyone who lives here. No, though, she won't be able to kill anybody. Pauline is good. She won't let you sprinkle your hands with blood. No way. She will just run away. But where to? To the family who stayed in France? A boy who doesn't exist? She has nowhere to go back to.
Oh, my God. She must look so pathetic. Not because of dirty hair, old clothes or her own appearance, but because of hopelessness. All you have to do is look at her and you will know that Pauline's life is over.
Life is over...