Personally my "favorite" whining now, one of the few remaining (which I am able to see) is "I don't have time for anything". In fact, it's such a coquetry, boasting in the form of whining. "Oh, I've got so much, such a busy life", I'm kind of whining, but I'm actually quite happy with myself, but I'll dig into your brains a little bit every time I see you, and I need some emotional reaction from you in return. Not a very attractive thing, to put it mildly, if you repeat the same thing regularly.
First, they listen to me, ask me how to help (they think I'm begging for help), then they wave, then they get irritated, what's as much as possible, why I haven't done anything about it so far.
Some phrases are not even recognized as whining. But this is all of it. And many other things that are said every day, too.
All these phrases are equal to:
"I'm weak and I want pity and support, I need to get it out of someone else.
"I am not able to be calm, and even more so, with joy or gratitude, or even respect for the things that are happening that I can't even influence.
"I can't enjoy any weather, and any circumstance in my brain turns into my personal problem."
"My business is regularly bad because of other people's actions or events."
"Everything touches me, everything hits me.
"I can't look at everything from a different angle."
"I'm not capable of carrying my own emotional states, I'm too weak to bear my fatigue."
"I need your emotions, support, approval, give, give, give, I don't even care how you're doing, the main thing is that I have it."
"I can't make my life so I can buy myself anything I want, and I'm gonna whine."
"I'm not able to organize my life in such a way as to be happy, to do what I like, and to be calm about everything."
"It's none of my business, it's none of my personal business, but I want to express my opinion and claim!"
"It was supposed to be mine! Nodal, robbed!"
"I'm in a mess with the borders, so there are a lot of problems with other people, but I plan to continue to blame everyone for my problems."
You usually want to be mourned by someone with whom you have poured your boundaries, from whom you see interest in your life, you think that he treats everything as well as you, that he is interested in all your feelings, so it's kind of possible. But the effect is the same - whether you have merged your own boundaries or not. To another person, it is your weakness.
It's a nasty thing to whine about. It's worth remembering examples of someone whining to see that your whining looks exactly the same, and in no way different.
Even if you just stop whining (remove the consequence) - it will remove the outflow of energy, removes unpleasant reactions and aggression of other people, makes you more attractive to other people, charges you with strength. And gradually new neural connections and new models will change your thinking.
Just to track what we wanted to mourn by habit, and keep silent, and, better, to react in a different way - this is the victory.
Because if not to whine, what? It means that something has to be changed.
And you start to think about what to change. To see opportunities. Or you just relax.
Washing is an official excuse, an excuse, an "objective reason" not to do anything.
Smoothing is not only infantilism but also egocentrism. "I am so special and I have a special situation. I just feel that way, and they don't feel that way. It's the poet I'm whining about, but they're not.
I don't have time for anything, because I'm special, I have a lot of things to do, but everyone else's, so it's nothing, so I have the right to whine like that from above.
Or someone whines about the weather, and thinks to himself, "it's just that I'm so special, more sensitive than everybody else, the weather really affects me so much, the mood spoils at once. And that some are happy with any weather, and this is the power of habit, the power of self-education, a certain self-discipline of personality, and so it is necessary - does not reach.
There are no special ones. A huge number of people feel the same, but concentrates on another, and does not tolerate the brain of other people. Most often they do not even have these thoughts. Or they keep them to themselves.
When you work with the crown of the Treasure not for the first year, about infantilism and egocentrism you will better understand how it manifests itself from the articles of Evolution - you begin to understand that whining from the same place grows.
Everyone should be told how you are doing, what your attitude is, that you don't like something, the world revolves around you, everybody should know and be aware of it. They are as interested in you as you are in yourself. They will be happy to hear and support you.
They just don't have any of this going on. And you do, so you need to tell them. They are always at your service for any purpose - like your crutch, you can always rely on it. You merge with some people, you appoint them as "mums" and there you are already whining harder, like you can, normally, let them carry it all.
You can actually change the situation in no time at all.
To realize what you can do for yourself right now to feel better now or in the near future? Leave other people behind in terms of expectations from them, fall behind expectations from situations, stop remembering and blaming the past, your situation, physical defects or what was given by parents.
And there is stability, will stop swinging.
Because the reliance on yourself is a stable thing.
Thank you for reading my article to the end!