When marriage is in trouble, many people want to know the answer: whether to improve the bad marriage in front of us or choose a good marriage.
There is no right or wrong choice, but for many people, making choices is extremely difficult.
The great psychologist Jung once said: The subconscious is manipulating your life, but you call it fate.
Every bad marriage is the result of the joint influence of oneself and relationships; every good marriage comes with the growth of marriage.
Many people who choose different people to marry will feel that this is completely different from the past. However, even if you change someone, the attempts and attempts at each stage you encounter will remain the same.
As long as you keep the habits of the past, the relationship will move in the same direction.
Therefore, if you want to have a happy marriage, you need to develop the ability to solve problems at each stage of the relationship. For anyone who wants happiness and has nothing to do with people who are together, this is a way of self-development.
So, what problems do you have if you want a happy marriage?
In short, everyone must complete three separations from their own in marriage.
First division:
Leave some fantasies and get married
This is impossible to complete the separation function: can not accept the other party is not perfect, can only continue to change.
The world we live in is always complicated, but for some people, we only want to see the good aspects of life, and we are not being embarrassed.
When they build relationships, they also have the same expectations. In the relationship, you are not allowed to have any defects, and you are not allowed to have any defects.
Therefore, if they are not good enough in a relationship or the other person is not good enough, they will decisively interrupt the relationship. According to their feelings, if there is something bad in the relationship, there is no hope, it is best to end early.
For those who can't finish the first part, it's easy to fall in love with someone, but it will stop suddenly. This kind of love only exists in fantasy. In fact, I have never loved anyone. What they are obsessed with is the beauty of their dreams.
The vast majority of these people are unable to establish stable relationships and their relationships will be very fragile. Even if they get married, most of them are occasional marriages.
Therefore, you can establish a physical marriage relationship only if you can complete the first separation and allow your fantasies to be replaced by reality. Those who want to find a good partner just want to immerse themselves in fantasy.
However, anyone who marries for love is disappointed with this separation: this is the first wave of marriage we must endure when the plane landed, no matter how long your relationship has been flying. High and stable, it is always impossible to avoid uneven fit.
The first person who can't complete the first relationship in the relationship can either land in the sky and not land, or always rush to land and hurt too deeply. He must immediately return to his previous state, and the next time he is often injured.
In order to restore this separation process, we must let ourselves gradually accept the reality and accept the uncertainty that the other party cannot bring. However, when you allow yourself to perform this process, you will find that the landing is not as terrible as you might think.
To be continued https://zen.yandex.ru/profile/editor/id/5d6103cdc31e4900ad8a43b8/5d94b08a74f1bc00ae9882f3/edit
