Contrary to myself: 4 chapter

For a few moments, Alexander, along with his mother, who was a silent witness to this last conversation between father and son, did not blink at the body of the deceased, and then the young man suddenly burst into tears, covering his face with his hands.
Now it was possible. You can at least for a moment stop restraining, indulge in grief. And mother will not blame him for this. These are his last tears.
      Mother and son wept for a long time in each other's arms, mourning for the one who was most recently the stronghold of their family, the most expensive, most reliable. How will they report his death to the girls ?!
      And then everything happened very quickly: the body was washed, changed into clean clothes, then the funeral service and funeral.
 Everything ... It was as if there had never been Count Pavel Nikolaevich Buturlin, a hereditary nobleman, rich, handsome, a favorite of women and the soul of any company, once a brave hussar ... who was not yet fifty years old!

      Having returned from the cemetery and having laid the girls frightened by the tears of the mother of the girls in bed, Maria Alexandrovna and her son sat for a long time at an empty table on which there was one single candle. They looked silently in front of themselves and tried to gather their thoughts.
      Alexander felt that he had aged for many years in one day. Overnight, he had to grow up and start thinking about how to live on. Life made me move.
      The young count, of course, did not manage to get the full education at home that was supposed to be for the noble offspring, but he already managed to master many sciences at a fairly decent level: he was fluent in English and French, was well versed in mathematics and physics, and at all revered chemistry favorite science, had knowledge of history and geography, was well-read, well versed in music and painting, in a word, could maintain a conversation on almost any topic in any high-class salon, whether in St. Petersburg or in London, for example. The count taught his son to shoot and ride beautifully, passing to the heir his hussar skills acquired in his youth.
        And now Alexander needs to figure out how to use those skills that he managed to get from his still short life. And how to get new ones.
The young man understood that he would have to survive on his own, alone. He will have to turn into a wolf, a wild animal, with his teeth and claws to cling to life and break out of the cell of poverty and lawlessness that his family has landed in.

“Mother,” he said softly, looking up at her from a suddenly matured man. “Tomorrow I will head to the city and try to look for work.” Anyone, just to be taken. And when I get settled, I will transfer you with the girls from here. Now ... we don’t have to stay here.

“Sasha, but you never worked,” muttered her mother mournfully. - Where will you go? What will you be doing?

- It does not matter if only to find a job. Believe me, I’m not afraid of any work, even the hardest, ”Alexander squeezed his mother’s hands in his hands. “I will ask Father Fyodor to keep an eye on you.” It will be calmer for me.

      The countess nodded fatefully, mentally saying goodbye to her only son. Who knows what awaits him beyond the threshold of this house? Will he return to her again?
Life is so cruel, especially to degraded nobles, and he is still so young! His face is so young and innocent, he does not know life at all. How many blank walls will he have to break through in an attempt to find his place in the sun? Maternal heart was shed with fear for the only son.

      And in the morning the young man left, leaving his mother and sisters to become the earner of the family. He walked, overcoming considerable distances, but it was not so important. The goal lit his soul with the fire of righteous anger, and therefore he did not feel tired. And his main goal was to fulfill the oath.
      He did not yet know how, but he, Alexander Buturlin, the heir to the old count family, would certainly achieve a return to his family of wealth, title, and status in society. They will have everything that they are used to from birth. In order to achieve this goal, Alexander will not stop at nothing.

      If you need to work like a slave - he is ready, if you need to punish the enemies - even more so. Even killing him will not stop. He vowed revenge on Vyazemsky. And he will hold her back!