First, the heart is a projector.
A young mother asked the silent mage: "What if my child is not obedient and does not like to learn?"
The mage asks: "Have you copied the documents? If there is a typo on the copy, do you change the copy or change the original?"
The parents are the original, the family is the photocopier, and the child is a copy. The child is the future of the parents, and the parents are the future of the child.
In parent-child education, to solve the problem of children, we must first solve our own problems. This is to solve the problem at the root. Without a problematic parent, there is no problem child. A child is just a flower in the tree of family and society. It opens up the advantages of family or society, and it also gives the whole family or society hidden problems.
If the flowers of a tree have problems, we usually go deep into the roots to treat, not just the flowers themselves. By the same token, if a child has a problem, where should we go to help him? Obviously, family and society are the root cause.
It can also be said that the heart is a projector. If we see a problem in the picture of life, then take a look at our projector. If we find that there is a problem with the child's education, the solution is the same: first look at our own projector, then check other people's projectors. This is the effective way to solve the problem. Therefore, parents are the children's first mentor, and the family is the child's first school! What is important is how we create a nutritious and healthy soil, and finally we will grow healthy and fruitful fruits!
Second, the problem you see in your child is the projection of your own problem.
For a family, you are the root of the tree, and the child is a flower. If there is a problem with the flowers, most of the roots are also problematic. The problem that a child often “sees” is actually a “flowering” of his own problem on the child. The child is your projection screen. When you see a problem in your child, it is the external projection of your own problem.
In essence, there are no children with problems, only parents who have problems.
If you have a problematic child in your eyes, who is the problem? Who created a problematic child? It may be you, you created some problem concepts, and then you cast on the child. It’s your eye, seeing a flawless jade as an ugly stone.
If you see that you have a problematic child, look for his problem, first, and then look for problems in yourself. If you see some flaws on the screen, first look at the projector's lens for problems.
Third, the more your own fear, the more you ask for your child.
If you are a feared parent, you must have a problematic child. The greater your fear, the more problems your child has in your eyes.
Fear leads to control. The more you fear, the more you tend to grasp something to make you feel safe. The master is the mind, and the children are usually free hearts. They flow like water and are difficult to control. This makes you want to grasp, the more you want to control, the more you want to control, the more you can't grasp it, the more you can't control it, the more you can't control it.
The more you fear, the more children you ask, and the more problems you have with your child. The child is a problematic child. Is that true? Without your fear, without your suppression or judgment, he is a child who is difficult to educate. Is this true? Ask yourself.
Fourth, when you are a completely fearless parent, your child can grow naturally.
People expect their children to have enough wisdom and ability when they grow up. How can a child develop the "biggest" wisdom and ability when he grows up? That is to let him grow in accordance with nature.
If a child grows according to his nature, he will maximize his wisdom and ability when he grows up. But if it is not like that, but you are particularly consciously cultivating or training him, after adulthood, perhaps his ability in some aspect is good, but his wisdom will be insufficient.
How can a child grow naturally? When you become a completely fearless parent. For example, put a pony on the vast grassland to grow freely, the owner of the pony needs a lot of fearless heart!