If you are a lion at home, then, your child may become a sheep; childhood character once formed, will accompany the child's life, it is difficult to change; free, open, happy, relaxed family atmosphere, is the most important factor in the formation of the child's good character. A few days ago, I suddenly remembered a very famous movie, presumably many people have seen, is based on the true story of the "King's speech". I think, growing up in the Royal Albert, how on earth did Albert become a serious stutterer? You know, a lot of people eat, from childhood psychological suffered a blow. And, also, as born noble and high-profile prince, his brother David why confident and calm, and Albert character is so different? After reviewing the relevant historical information, the answer gradually revealed, but also made me in a deep meditation.King George V has six children, David is the eldest, and Albert is the second.Their tutor was strict, and Albert started to stutter when he was 7. In a way, it was the attitude of his father and those around him that triggered Albert's stutter.Why do you say that?George V has always been tough and tough on children.At the beginning, because of the tension, the occasional speech is not smooth, the father will shout at him: say Ah!Say it!Albert is left-handed, but was forced to use the right hand to write; Albert O-leg, was forced to tie the leg braces; Albert eat too nervous, and even lead to childhood suffering from a stomach disease... When Albert's brother David as the first heir to the throne, with confidence, smart and beautiful praise, Albert is hiding under the halo of his brother, spent a sad and frustrated childhood.Later, as the film tells it, it was not the brilliant doctor who“treated”Albert (eight previous doctors have failed), but a theatre director who did not have medical qualifications.The way Logue uses it, the best he can do is to psychologically find the root of Albert's illness, which is to reduce the“frustration " of Albert, never give him the pressure, help him regain self-confidence. Well, let's talk about the relationship between the family atmosphere and the child's character.We all know that the character is very important, from the point of view of Child Growth, character determines behavior, really“character decides the fate"; in the child character formation of childhood, how to develop character, more important than to obtain knowledge; childhood character once formed, will accompany the child's life, often play a decisive role in the career and life;childrenI think many parents, like George V, want to train their children as quickly as possible, and pay time, experience and money for it. However, if the child's character is not confident, not cheerful, not tolerant, then.
Principle one: the family atmosphere should be relaxed, warm, democratic, free, not authoritarian, tyrannical, high pressure, authoritarian.I know that some parents look at this principle and say:is it that serious?You also don't say that every family, indeed from this spiritual height to establish a family atmosphere.What's more, there needs to be a”family constitution“ - a "family constitution" - that any family member must abide by, without exception, because of their status.So, family members together to establish and reach a consensus.What should the basic spirit of your family's constitution look like? Very simple, look at the historical development experience of human society to know.Do you want to do it in a way that one person can say at home, or do you want to respect everyone's rights? Not knowing why, many parents especially fear that they have no authority at home. At one point, a friend and I, who had just become a dad, almost got into a fight. "The only way I can persuade this elite college student to do that is: if you don't do it, try it.Just give it a try, okay? If you are a lion at home, then your child will become a sheep; when you are old, the child will worship your intelligence, knowledge, even physical strength; but when you are weak, and the child is strong, he is likely to resist you, you must listen to you; you want the child, then, means that you draw a box for the child, the pursuit, not exactly the possibility of life?Principle two: each family member regardless of gender age, are equal, have their own dignity.This point, there are many parents do not recognize, why?Because many people have always believed that when a child is little.Otherwise, the child will develop rebellious character, anti bone, will not discipline.This is a particularly big misunderstanding.When you have full respect for the child, it is precisely the beginning that earns the child a real respect.This truth is not at all profound, heart and heart, everyone will understand.But it's not easy to really do it, especially with your children.Just as I put these words on the notebook I carry with me(this is a habit of mine, have ideas to write down, go back and then finishing) - this day, I took meatballs to participate in an activity.Because time is running out, a dad is watching the boys do homework."Two digits divided by three digits, you pig Ah!" "You know what, you fucking idiot!"....... The father was sitting opposite the child, eyes firmly fixed on the child's stroke, if there is a mistake, he snapped, and from time to time raised his hand and beat the child's head.The child, who was originally a strong-looking child, responded with a low cry, and was sweating and writhing.I do not know what the father is for, in front of dozens of parents and children, in such public places publicly humiliated their children-is to establish their own authority, or to give the child a profound lesson?Whatever it is, I think this parent is doing something that he is destined to regret for his life.I watched the poor child sympathetically with the parents and children around me.We all want the child to be confident, brave, independent, witty, but parents in such an occasion even scolded the child more than a dozen words "pig", the child was drilled in the heart, how to develop good character?In the family, does dad have respect for mom's family labor?Have your parents said anything to your elders?Do not think that the child can not see or hear, you these words and deeds, are deeply engraved with the child's heart.Don't assume that the child you see is the child's real face-when you let the child out of your reach, with other people, you try to quietly observe that is the child's real character-and this character, most of the time is copied from you.
Mr Abbott often referred to the family as "the four of us," a family of four who truly loved each other, and whose two daughters lived happily and freely-the eldest daughter is now Queen Elizabeth.Albert's life, when we are all parents alert: when the child is still small, what seed you planted, will bear what fruit; and, once the seed is sown, no matter how much time you work behind to build, grafting, are difficult to change;do not put your eyes only on the results, spend more time with children, respect the child.