It was all my neighbor's fault, who pressed the button on the apartment call in the early morning of May 15 until she woke up my whole family. Sleepy, struggling to navigate the space, I opened the door and was almost carried away by a wave of activity and thirst for activity.
I followed my neighbor into the kitchen: - Well? Why so early? She poured sugar on the table next to a cup of tea and gave it away: - And let's buy a goat. To say I was surprised was not to say anything. - Why do I need a goat? - You see, you will move to the summer cottage now, and the goat will be milk for the kids.
At the magic word, the children woke up finally and we began to plan the delivery of the goat. During the negotiations it turned out that the neighbor's greed was to buy a goat with a goat. The delivery issue she decided at the expense of our car, they say, you buy yourself a goat - and so do I at the same time bring. When my husband found out over a cup of morning tea that two goats and a goat were to be shoved into the interior of our car, he refused categorically.
But then the two of us have already painted the benefit of goat milk for our children, and the fate of goats was decided. We went after them.
My husband was nervously drumming his fingers all the way to the wheel: - I can't imagine - there are three of us, where else can we put three goats? - Don't worry, I'll take the kid in my arms, the neighbor comforted me from the front seat. - I'm sorry, but should I sit between two animals? - I was terrified from the back. It didn't turn out to be that bad. The goats took us and the transport quite calmly; I even liked the little goat.
While the neighbor and mistress were persuading the cattle, the husband couldn't stand it and used violent methods, shoving two goats in the back seat and closing the trunk of the goat. I managed to take a seat next to the driver, allowing the neighbor, as a connoisseur of goats, to deal with them in the back seat. She got a very good job hugging the hoofed goats sitting on their sides with her hands. The first kilometre passed without any excesses - the goats were watching what was going on.
Then they got bored with it, and they tried to settle down with great comfort. One of them stuck her face between the front seats and tried to chew the sleeve of the driver's jacket. - Get that gum thing away from me, it distracts me! The voice from the back seat clarified: - Goats are not ruminants. - And why? Aren't they relatives of cows? - I was hesitant. My husband kicked the furry face with his elbow and was outraged: - You will still classify them! Now you will both ride on your goats. I was afraid I tried to turn the goat away, but it was climbing forward. She thought she was two steps away from home, and probably liked the view through the windshield, so she put the first hoof on the handbrake. My husband had an uncensored argument. The goat didn't understand. And at that moment it turned out that the road was blocked, and we were stuck. Drivers and passengers from nearby cars were looking at our company with interest.
We tried to take an independent indifferent look, showing that riding with goats in the top nine was just a fashionable trend. - What's the matter, the neighbor asked. - And who knows it, we are still standing. The main thing is not to run into traffic police, but I can feel - they are somewhere near - my husband tried to relax. And then there were shots fired. The goats moved, so did we. I had tears in my eyes, for some reason I thought the world was ending. The goat in the backseat began to puke in a loud, disgusting voice that made me want to jump out of the car and run where my eyes were looking. - What is it there? - The neighbor in the back had a bad view because of the goats. - Is that it? It's a salute, he said, and it came to his wife. Wonderful flowers blossomed in the sky. Goats calmed down, also fascinated by the sight.
While we were standing, they did not move anymore and the rest of the road was quiet. When we brought them in and let them out into the fresh air, my husband breathed a sigh of relief and announced - We went to see the fireworks in a positive way. Only, girls, you clean the salon yourself - as compensation for the moral damage caused to me.